Time to get to know you
by Lami
Summary: S+X Slash, Time Travel, Sap, OOCyness, Crap I can't belive I wrote this. [COMPLETE] R&R Pls. :)
1. Chapters I, II & III

TITLE: TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOU.  
  
Author: Lami  
  
Pairing: Xander/Spike  
  
Rating: NC -17 (only the last chapter)  
  
Author's notes: My first fic! Feedback welcome! Constructive criticism, death threats, anything else you want to share.  
  
Warning: You are what you read!  
  
Disclaimer: The characters used in this story, while entirely fictional, do not belong to me! I am in no way making profit from them and do this for entertainment, mostly my own. So don't sue me plz. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend ;)  
  
PS: # Thoughts #  
  
  
  
Chapter I - Look before you leap (in to a vortex.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
". . . you're not the 'Big Bad' anymore! You're a fangless nuisance and in case you haven't noticed you're living in MY basement!"  
  
"You'd have to be a lot deader than I am not to notice that, mate!"  
  
The argument could be heard before the participants even walked through the door, much to the chagrin of the owner of the store. Giles set his tea down on the counter. He'd need both hands for this. The young witch was deep in concentration and could not be disturbed. After all, the dark magics she was using bore an uncanny resemblance to walking a tight rope blindfolded on a windy day, without the additional disturbance that was crashing through the door.  
  
The next few seconds took a decidedly different length of time to pass for each person involved. Willow chanted under her breath, blissfully unaware of impending cataclysm. Giles watched in morbid fascination as the argument increased in volume:  
  
"Oh yeah? If you'd rather go back to your crypt, be my guest!"  
  
"That's an oxymoron."  
  
"You're an oxymoron!!"  
  
Even as words of warning left the watchers' mouth and headed through the air at a leisurely pace Xander spun around to yell at Spike and then tripped over the stairs, and spiraled gracefully through the air in to Willows' sacred circle.  
  
As soon as Spike walked through the door he could sense magic in the air, and somewhere in the back of his mind heard the watcher say something about a spell. Then the boy yelled something at him and just as Spike noticed the scene directly in front of them, Xander went flying across the room. And then he was following him.  
  
The only thing Xander could think as he realized he was heading down the stairs without his feet being involved was to grab on to the only object within reach, namely, Spikes' arm.  
  
Time chose this moment to resume its normal speed. The first thing Willow saw as she opened her eyes was an unidentified flying blur go sailing past, right in to the vortex that she had conjured, and then disappear with a clap of thunder.  
  
"oh dear."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"oh dear? Giles, what.?"  
  
Willow was starting to wonder if all her spells were doomed from the start. There was supposed to be a vortex!  
  
"umm, I was positive I locked that."  
  
Giles said, indicating the door. He had hoped to let Xander and Spike in after heaving a chat with them out side. He certainly didn't anticipate them to come barging in and, as it happed, right at the perfect moment to get sucked in to God knows where!  
  
"Willow, where does that go, exactly?"  
  
The witch could sense the panic radiate off the watcher in waves without any extrasensory perception.  
  
"I managed to push back quiet far this time. I'd say a couple of hundred years. But it wasn't supposed to do that. It, it was supposed to stay open until I told it to dissipate!"  
  
"Or until something came through."  
  
Giles supplied helpfully.  
  
"yeah, or until something ca. . . Giles?"  
  
How was he supposed to tell her that her best friend was just transported to the past?!  
  
"um, Willow, Xander and Spike may have. well they are. two hundred years?. . ."  
  
Willows' eyes seemed to take up all of her face for an instant. Then understanding dawned all rosy and bright.  
  
"uh oh."  
  
She uttered biting her lower lip as it began to tremble. How was she going to fix this?  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter II - Where is here?  
  
  
  
The blissfully picturesque country side was awakened with an ear piercing scream.  
  
"When I said 'go out with a bang' I didn't mean literally!"  
  
Spike said as he got to his feet, looking heavenward.  
  
"My last words were 'you're an oxymoron.'"  
  
Xander mumbled dejectedly. Something about afterlife didn't seem to make sense though. . .  
  
"hang about. . ."  
  
Spike started to feel like himself again now that the mind numbing pain was wearing off.  
  
"oh my God! I'm, I'm in hell! You're here! This can't be heaven!"  
  
Spike tried not to smile at that. The boy was still in shock and trying heard to get to his feet, yelling at the injustice of it all. Spike rolled his eyes and helped him up.  
  
"Snap out of it you ninny, you're not dead!"  
  
Xanders' brain was starting to function again and checking for a pulse he tried to slow his breathing. What happened? One minute they were in the 'Magic Box' and the next they were here. Where ever here was. Oh wait! He fell! That's it, he must have hit his head and this was all trauma induced hallucination. He was getting worried for a moment. Ha. Why was he not waking up?  
  
"ok. Ok, don't panic. . ."  
  
Spike watched as Xander checked his pulse and seemed to reach some internal conclusion that the vampire wasn't privy to.  
  
"I'm not panicking. I'm watching you panic. It's much more entertaining. . ."  
  
It seemed that whatever deity had a grudge against Spike was watching and the next moment saw the usually smug vampire race across the country side in a blind panic.  
  
Xander was about to say something when Spike turned and then a look of utter shock and indignation passed over his features. Xander didn't get to enjoy it for long though as a second later it, along with the rest of Spike was making a b-line for some trees.  
  
# definitely a dream # thought Xander, and followed Spike.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Xander set off across the field after the vampire he had a chance to take in some of his surroundings. They had found themselves in a clearing almost completely surrounded by trees. It was too dark to make out much detail, all he could see was open grassland in the direction that wasn't forest. His head was feeling slightly better and he tried to think logically. That didn't work on his best days though so he realized that there wasn't much hope for it now. All he could come up with was that this must be the unfortunate result of one of Willows' spells. By the time he was done wrecking his brain, he had reached the edge of the forest.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"I'm over here."  
  
Spike could see that the boy had a burning question, so pointing to the horizon by way of explanation he turned and watched the first rays of sunlight creep across the morning mist. When he turned back towards Xander the look on the slayerettes face made bad ass vamp Spike want to offer some comfort. He quickly shook off the feeling.  
  
"what's going on. . .?"  
  
"How d'you mean pet?"  
  
"Correct me if I'm wrong here but wasn't it night just a second ago? How long were we out? Where are we? This stuff always happens to me! Am I cursed? This is your fault!"  
  
Spike could see that his companion was running out of air.  
  
"yes, we weren't, don't know, I've noticed, and probably."  
  
Spike said ticking the questions off on his fingers. Xander looked confused. Spike figured the boy was just trying to work out what he had answered.  
  
Xander was confused. Spike, the one person he could count on to point out his inadequacies decided not to comment on the last statement. Strange, considering the fact that the vampire wouldn't be far off blaming him for dragging him in to this mess.  
  
Literally.  
  
"where are you going?"  
  
Spike halted his progress through the undergrowth.  
  
"I don't tan well so I though I'd find somewhere to hole up for the day. You coming?"  
  
"Huh? No. wait! First thing's first. . ."  
  
Spike watched as Xander pinched his arm.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"You done ?"  
  
"Yep. I'm good."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After what seemed like hours (but was actually only forty minutes according to Xanders' watch) of making their way through the dense forest the unfortunate duo encountered a river. The banks were rocky and fortunately for Spike had caves a plenty, as the only distraction Xander had during their hike was pointing out when the vampires hair was starting to smoke. Neither one of them had said much, which in itself was disconcerting but the fact remained that they had no idea how they got there and if possible, even less of an idea about how to get back.  
  
"we're stopping?"  
  
This from Xander, who didn't know why they couldn't take a break before, seeing as how they didn't know where they were going. Then Spike had explained that the sooner they got there the less time they would have to spend together, he decided to put all his efforts in to accomplishing just that. And now they were stopping.  
  
"yeah. As soon as I find a big enough rock to crawl under."  
  
Xander, who despite appearances was very perceptive could tell that Spike was as frustrated with the situation as he was.  
  
"a minute ago you were all 'the sooner we get going the less time I have to spend with you' guy."  
  
Xander actually did a passable approximation of Spike's accent.  
  
"we can carry on after the sun sets. I happen to like my hair the way it is."  
  
# too bad you're the only one # thought Xander, despite the fact that he had always thought Spikes hair was cool. He'd die before he admitted that to anyone though, even himself.  
  
"yeah well, I don't have to sit here and keep you company, I can just go on alone!"  
  
"Fine! Go ahead. I'm sure there's plenty of native wildlife that can't wait to meet you!"  
  
Hmmm. He had a point. Xander sat on the flat surface of a rock next to the water and trying not to fall in, took a drink.  
  
Spike watched the boy slide slowly towards the water. Despite his nonchalance he didn't want to be left alone either.  
  
After finding a roomy cave Spike settled on the damp floor watching Xander pace out side. He came to the conclusion that the boy was bored and wished that the cave had enough room for him to pace too.  
  
Xander had realized that it was actually quite cold now that they stopped hiking and found that pacing helped. After ten minutes of it though he got dizzy and sat at the mouth of the cave.  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"Go fish."  
  
Came the expected barb from the darkness in the cave.  
  
Another ten minutes followed this exchange after which neither one could take the silence any longer.  
  
"Spike, I've been thinking . . ."  
  
# What, no 'don't strain your self' ? # Thought Xander.  
  
# Wow. He said my name. # Thought Spike.  
  
"it's day."  
  
"I think we've established that, luv."  
  
"And it's cold."  
  
"Your insight in to the obvious is uncanny. . . "  
  
At the annoyed look from Xander the vampire held his hands up allowing the boy to finish the though with no further input.  
  
"I'm thinking, we're not in Kansas anymore. Did I imagine that or was Wills doing some sort of witchy thing that we fell in to?"  
  
"Yeah. The Watcher said Red was practicing her mojo tonight, something about transportation spells."  
  
He could practically see the wheels turning in Xanders' head.  
  
"it doesn't make sense. I mean, why would it be day? Unless she transported us across the planet. oh my God, we're in Australia!"  
  
The look of horror on the brunettes face was too much for Spike and he started to laugh. Really laugh. After a moment Xander joined him. # not that it was that funny # but he figured both of them needed a let out. They lay panting on the rocks after, Spike just out of a die hard breathing habit. Xander realized that he had never heard the blonde laugh before, barring the occasional evil chuckle. He didn't know what to make of that random thought though so he just left it alone and it joined the other miscellaneous 'Spike thoughts' in a corner of his brain and made friends.  
  
"so what now?"  
  
Xander asked in a breathy voice, after the laughter died down.  
  
"now we wait."  
  
One of the things they had in common was the inability to sit still for long though so waiting was easier said than done. After Xanders' attempts at skipping stones, then looking for food, then cave art, and finally, naught 'n' crosses, the sun was setting. Not a moment too soon for Spike who was climbing the walls of his cave by then.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"so. where to, fangstien?"  
  
"Err.. you pick."  
  
Xander seemed to deliberate for a moment and then pointed to the right.  
  
"this way."  
  
He said finally, trying to look like he could think of some reason why that direction was favorable.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Xanders' voice was full of confidence now.  
  
"right, then."  
  
Said Spike, spinning round and walking to the left along the river bank. A glance over his shoulder revealed a very confused looking Xander.  
  
"No offence pet, but you aren't exactly the luckiest person I know."  
  
The brunet was going to protest, but then, his current situation was a case in point. # great Not only am I stuck in the wilderness, but I'm stuck with him! #  
  
  
  
Chapter III - Down the rabbit hole.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, back in the present.  
  
"what do you mean, you can't!? *can't*, can't? . . ."  
  
Willow was on the brink of an emotional breakdown. She had been trying to explain to Buffy, Riley, Tara and now, Angel what had happened to Xander and Spike. The not so much explaining as talking to a wall was taking a little longer than she thought it would. Not that they couldn't understand, but everyone was so worried about Xander, and Spike to a lesser degree, that they kept interrupting with suggestions and comments just like Buffy was doing now.  
  
"No! I didn't mean I can't. can't yet! I need to research this before I try to get them back. But. . ."  
  
Willow looked up at Giles who had been looking through a book in the stacks. He shook his head no and closed the book. Willow sighed. She'd figured as much.  
  
"I can reopen the vortex, but they would have to be in the exact same time and place as they came through. I. um, I could try, but I'm not sure it will work."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Buffy was getting frustrated. She was action-girl. Just sitting here formulating theories wasn't her forte. After three hours of listening to Willow and Giles explain the situation her ears were about ready to drop off. From the magic-speak she could understand it seemed as though Xander and Spike had been somehow transported to the past when they walked in to a vortex Willow had conjured while practicing her magic. They didn't know weather they could get them back just by opening the vortex again at the exact same time as they arrived there because of the time difference. They had spent three hours there already so bringing them back now would mean that they would loose that time. Buffy thought it was perfectly logical to conclude that they wouldn't mind being a bit younger but at the exasperated look she received it appeared things weren't that simple. While the Slayer was pondering this, Willow and Tara set up the sacred circle again and after a stern warning to stay out of the way, began to chant.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The lush green grassy patch was perfect. Or so thought the rabbit, that had spent the morning looking for a spot to dig its' new home. Just as the search came to a fruitful end, the ground shook, and a clap of thunder echoed through the cloudless sky. Then the wind picked up and not two feet from the startled rabbit a swirling vortex appeared out of nowhere.  
  
# What do ya know. a vortex. # thought the rabbit and turning, hightailed it out of there. Those things are more trouble that they're worth and rabbits like to err on the side of caution. It paid to be able to run fast, if you were a rabbit.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two hundred years ago, in a grassy meadow, Willows voice could be heard coming from the center of a small vortex.  
  
*they aren't there.*  
  
*wait, maybe they'll come back. . .*  
  
*it's day.*  
  
Willow failed to see why that was worth mentioning. She looked at Buffy. Then back at the field through the murky center of the vortex. Then back at Buffy.  
  
*oh my God, Spike! I didn't even think! What if. . .*  
  
She left it open. Every one knew what the 'if' was. The Slayer could see that thoughts of their resident evil being dust were upsetting Willow even more.  
  
*don't worry Wills, he's not that easy to kill. Trust me I know. I saw some trees over there. . .*  
  
Buffy moved to point but her arm was slapped away by Tara.  
  
*y you don't want a, a two hundred year old arm. do you?*  
  
Buffy snatched her arm away.  
  
*they'll probably just hide out there till the sun sets.*  
  
Willow and Tara made the vortex dissipate and the room was oddly silent for a minute.  
  
"I don't get it. I thought you said it was supposed to open at the same time as they arrived?"  
  
Said Buffy. She once again felt like she had missed something. This is probably what  
  
Willow meant when she said it wouldn't work.  
  
Another hour of Buffy staring at a book and everyone else researching revealed that the vortex would open in Xander and Spikes' current time, but they would have to walk through it to return, and for that they would have to be in the same area, and for that they would have to know where they were, and for that they would need a miracle.  
  
"Giles, I don't know what else to do. . ."  
  
Willow whispered brokenly. The vortex just wouldn't move without another spell of some sort. The witch was lost.  
  
"Angel?"  
  
Buffy thought that she might as well ask if he had any bright ideas. It took some work to get his two available facial expressions to mesh in to a 'sorry, no idea' but he managed.  
  
"Giles. . .?"  
  
"I don't know. But I know someone who might. . ."  
  
Ripper said cryptically and disappeared in to his office.  
  
TBC. . . 


	2. Chapter IV

Chapter IV - A civilization can be measured in Starbucks.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
By the time Xander and Spike got on the way, that last vestiges of sunlight clinging to the tree tops released their hold on the forest and the world was plunged in to darkness. Spike had decided to follow the river downstream because the walking was easier and there was likely to be a town on the river if they walked far enough.  
  
Xander was following Spike. The vampire looked like he knew where he was going, even though Xander could see through the false bravado, if he trusted himself. But he didn't. Trust himself, that is. After all, he did tend to make things up just because he wanted them to be true. That's not being perceptive. That's living in a fantasy. Or so his dad said,  
  
anyway.  
  
Spike could hear the boy struggle with the rough terrain behind him, but he was keeping up. He could tell because Xander was humming softly to himself.  
  
"Aargh!"  
  
Spike spun around and not seeing Xander anywhere felt his heart lurch. # what's wrong with me? #  
  
"Whelp?!"  
  
A soft whimper came from behind a rock. Spike appeared at Xanders' side the next instant with something akin to worry on his face. The slayerette was expecting to be laughed at any second now. He must have looked funny sliding slowly down the rock face.  
  
Relief had quickly turned to anger. At himself, but he didn't have to admit that.  
  
"what in blazes are you doing?!"  
  
# well at least he's not laughing #  
  
"knitting a sweater. Ouch."  
  
Spike helped Xander up off the rock.  
  
"you alright?"  
  
Xander looked up form dusting himself off.  
  
"umm . . . yeah. I slipped." # how uncharacteristically clumsy of me. #  
  
Spike smiled. Xander couldn't see very well in the dark so the vampire endeavored to stick to an easier path along the rocks. He didn't want the whelp to break his neck. Buffy would kill him.  
  
The route ahead was going to get rough. Spike could see a sudden drop where the river cascaded in a series of small waterfalls. It would take ages to walk around it and the vampire figured that if they just took it slow it shouldn't end in splatsville for either of them. While he was figuring this, Xander, who had up to this point been behind him, took the lead.  
  
"Stick close, pet. It's gets a bit bumpy up ahead."  
  
Though the vampire could see quite well by the silvery moonlight, bouncing off the water, he imagined Xander would be heaving difficulties.  
  
"hey, I can still walk!"  
  
Xander was offended. Well, embarrassed really, but he could pretend to be offended.  
  
Truth was he couldn't see two feet in front of him, but that only meant he didn't know he was about to walk off a cliff.  
  
"Just because I don't have super strength or special powers, doesn't mean you have to,"  
  
"Xander, STOP!"  
  
The only thing that saved Xander from a long vertical trip was Spikes' lightening reflexes. Before he knew what was happening he found himself hanging off a rock face by an arm.  
  
"aarrgh. Help."  
  
Xander whimpered as he was pulled to safety. His limbs felt like Jell-O and he collapsed in to the vampires' arms. His brain was still recovering from an adrenaline high.  
  
"w would t this be a g good time to mention, I'm afraid of hights. . .?"  
  
Spike found himself holding the shivering boy, sitting on the edge of a 20ft drop cast in moonlight, with the sound of the waterfall below whispering to the night. The scene may have been quite romantic, # where did that come form? Dru must be rubbing off on me. #  
  
"shh, pet. I've got you."  
  
The sound of Spikes' voice was oddly comforting, and Xander felt his heart rate slow. There was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind though. A moment later he realized what it was. # Argh! Is it too late to jump of that cliff?! I'm never gonna live this down! # He disentangled his hands from Spikes' shirt and tried to get up. How much could vampires see in the dark? Surely he must be turning ten shades of red!  
  
A blush crept over Xanders' face. Spike held on to his shoulder to steady him.  
  
"no more suicide attempts?"  
  
"Only if you promise to never mention this, ever. . . .thanks."  
  
Smirking, Spike felt around his pockets until he produced a Mars bar and handing it to  
  
Xander continued pretending to look for his cigarettes. The vampire decided to book a long counseling session with Jerry Springer as soon as he got back, to have his behavior explained to him. He sure as hell didn't want to think about his lack of homicidal tendencies lately. Thank hell for ADD.  
  
"FOOD! Why didn't you say you had food?! I'm starving!"  
  
Spike was heaving odd tingly feelings as the chocolate induced joy Xander was experiencing.  
  
"didn't know I still had it."  
  
Spike lied. Actually, he had noticed how after Xander mentioned he was hungry in the morning, he hadn't brought it up again, being that there was nothing he could do about it.  
  
Ok, Spike had some hopes of running in to a Starbucks out here, but it seemed that even the hardiest weed of the fast food industry couldn't survive the lack of clientele. That was worrying. The vampire figured that Xander would need all the energy he could get now, if they hoped to get anywhere before dawn.  
  
"why do you have a Mars bar anyway? Unless there's something in the contents I don't know about.. . ."  
  
"I like the taste. . . repeat that to anyone and I'll rip your guts out through your nose."  
  
"wanna share?"  
  
Said Xander, ignoring the death threat. He was busy unwrapping the chocolate as if it was the lost ark.  
  
"I think you need it more than me pet. Besides, I had a big lunch."  
  
Spike was all too aware that if they didn't get out of there soon, he'd be a lot thinner. He couldn't help but smile at Xanders' selflessness though. Somehow he felt it meant something that he would be willing to share his only sustenance with an evil undead vampire. # getting sentimental in your old age, William? # Their town better have a blood bank.  
  
"um, how long can you go without blood?"  
  
Xander asked in all seriousness suddenly.  
  
"a lot longer than you can without food, now come on. I think we're getting close."  
  
Xander finished eating and got to his feet. How could Spike tell they were getting anywhere? Must be a vampire thing, he told himself.  
  
"where do you think we are?"  
  
Ahh. The very question Spike had asked himself more than once today.  
  
"New England, probably"  
  
"well at least one of us feels at home.. . ."  
  
"as in Main."  
  
"Oh." # I knew that. #  
  
The implications of that suddenly hit Xander. There were forests in Main. Big ones. And, for all they knew, they could be walking to Canada. Or Alaska. It was cold enough. . .  
  
"except . . . it smells funny."  
  
Spike didn't know how else to describe the odd feeling he got from this place. Even more so now that he could hear sounds of civilization ahead. Or rather lack there of. Didn't these people have cars?  
  
Xander just looked at Spike for a moment trying to decide what to make of the strange statement. Then nodded and started to walk.  
  
One of the things Spike liked, # or rather didn't find repulsive # he told his ego, about Xander was the fact that the boy didn't feel the need to question everything. He would usually sit there and work it out for himself which gave him an unbiased, naïve quality. Often he didn't trust his own conclusions though, hence his happy-go-lucky doughnut boy image. # enough with the deconstructing Xander thoughts! Think about something else.. . I am Henry the eighth I am. . .#  
  
Spike decided to try and avoid further discourse, especially where the whelp was the topic of conversation as his brain and his ego seemed to have a vastly different opinion of him. And listing to those to argue all day could drive a fellow round the bend.  
  
Spike was sure that they were getting close to a town of some sort. he could smell it from here and they were still a good half a mile away. Fortunately finding in wouldn't be hard now, seeing as how most of the denizens seemed to avoid sanitation like a rabbit dog.  
  
". . . you of all people should respect others' right to mutilate their hair."  
  
Oh, and they were talking about peaches.  
  
"ha. You're one to talk, mate!"  
  
"Whaat. . . ?"  
  
Said Xander as he ran his fingers through his overlong hair. It promptly fell back over his eyes and tangled with his overlong eyelashes. Spike was transfixed for a moment. The Slayerettes' insecurity had led to a bout of blinking that probably started a hurricane somewhere. # ok, so he is a nummy treat. # Spike was willing to concede. # and he hasn't a clue about it # yeah, but that didn't mean anything # and he's sweet as a kitten # gross, my point exactly. . . # and you want him # NO I DON'T # oh yeah, so explain the ogling # I WASN'T ogling. I was thinking about all that wonderful blood and all these sharp rocks. . . # that's not how you want him and you know it. . . # I AM HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM, . . . # oh not this again. . . #  
  
"Spike?"  
  
Uh oh, he'd been caught. Um, caught thinking thoughts of a murderous nature that is.  
  
How's that for convincing. . .  
  
"shhh!"  
  
Spike said ominously, and started to make his way forward as if following some sound only he sound hear. Xander once again got that feeling that if he could just dwell on it he would figure out what was really going on. He shrugged and followed.  
  
@------;--- ---;------@  
  
  
  
Ugh, that girl! You'd think the devil himself sent her to try my faith!  
  
"Mary dear, you are not to leave home this late. 'Tis not proper for a lady to be out alone in the dark."  
  
This had been going on ever since that time she was late coming home from tea with Cilia, and now her mother insisted that any little thing she did was not proper!  
  
"it is hardly dark, mother. I will be back in a little while."  
  
Said Mary Anne Wilson, putting on her overcoat. The slightly worn red velvet with fur trimming was a status symbol, and besides, it was getting cold. It wouldn't do for the daughter of the first family in New Brimmsville to die of consumption now would it?  
  
"Besides, I am sure that that nice Mr. Leavings will escort me home."  
  
Mary was out of the door long before her mothers' indignant protests reached her ears.  
  
# that girl will be the death of me! #  
  
Mary walked down the muddy street at a brisk pace. Maybe it was a little dark. Besides, she was sure that she had heard something a moment ago. It may have just been some critter in the woods. She wasn't scared. No. She just liked to walk fast. Ahh! Were those footsteps?  
  
"hey! Wait, um hold on!"  
  
Oh no. Bandits. # Lord, forgive me for my sins, in thy infinite mercy. . . #  
  
Turning around very slowly she tried not to picture all the horrible things that could happen to her. She had seen neither of the strangely dressed men before. One of them, the pale one with white hair had stopped some distance down the road and was looking at her strangely. The other, with dark hair and even stranger clothes approached her with a big smile on his face. They did not look like bandits. . .  
  
"oh thank God! Hi! Me and my friend are kind'a lost, d'you know what town we're in? of course you do! you live here right? I like you dress. . .let me guess, costume party? " Strange accent. Perhaps they were from over seas. Well at least they weren't killing her yet.  
  
"please sir, do not harm me, my father is the head of the village, he will reward you handsomely. . ."  
  
now they were both looking at her strangely. Surely it was not uncommon for victims to plead for their lives. Unless they were not bandits. . .  
  
"um, . . . huh?"  
  
# oh they must think me insane to greet them in such a manner! #  
  
"and um-huh to you too. I am ever so sorry, but one cannot help but assume certain things about strangers in the night. Did you say you and your friend were lost?" She looked at the blond man once more. He seemed rooted to the spot, and the look on his face had gone from suspicion to shock. Was it something she said?  
  
"yeah, me and Spike are trying to get back to Sunnydale, so if you could just point us to a bus terminal. . ?"  
  
# bust erminal? Surely they did not mean. . . oh my. #  
  
"I do not know any such place, but perhaps you would like to rest after your long journey? There is an inn in town. You gentlemen will be welcome."  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
# oh no. not again. This wasn't happening!! #  
  
Suddenly the strange feeling he had all along made perfect sense. If seemed familiar somehow.  
  
Xander had been so happy that they had finally found a town that he had gone ahead. In the dark, the wooden buildings resembled any other in a backwater village, but Spike knew better. His suspicions had just been confirmed when he saw the girl in the circus - tent dress scurry away from Xander. He stopped dead, no pun intended, and stood watching in mute horror as the boy asked her for directions.  
  
@-----;---- ----;-----@  
  
Spikes' brain was telling him to intervene before the girl started to think that Xander was touched in the head, but for the longest time his feet just wouldn't move.  
  
Meanwhile, it seemed that the whelp had gotten some useful information out of her. They would need a place to stay, for the next century or so!  
  
"you mean like 'Holiday Inn' ? yeah, that would be great!" Xander intoned, prompting Spike in to action.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
# Alright William, what would one say to get out of this predicament? # . . . oh God, 'one' ? Spike could almost feel his alter ego reassert it self. Any second now he would start to stutter.  
  
"Good evening, miss. . . ?"  
  
"Mary Anne Wilson"  
  
Said the girl, offering her hand with a curtsey. Spike could almost hear Xanders' jaw hit the ground when he bowed and kissed it.  
  
"A pleasure. William Wordsworth at your service."  
  
"Charmed." # am I, ever! #  
  
Spike kept up the smile and the eye contact, but inside he shuddered at how fast everything was coming back to him. It hurt. He didn't want to be him again.  
  
"I beg the Ladies' pardon for the imposition, but I have an urgent matter to discuss with, Alexander here. Would you excuse us?"  
  
Xanders' jaw found a lower place. What the heck was Spike doing? # I must have passed out. . . # Spikes' odd behavior wasn't foremost on the list of things to be astounded by though. The accent! # oh my God, but that was sexy! # . . . # I DID NOT just think that. # Spike had just slipped it on with the same casual air of someone putting on a coat. Ok, so the girl was a little strange but. . . # Hey! # Xander found himself being dragged off by Spike.  
  
This was very peculiar, Mary thought as she stood watching the charming blonde, William, was it, haul off his friend a ways down the road. Being helpful, she decided to wait for the two to finish their conference. After all, she couldn't just leave the poor, handsome dears all lost and alone now could she? She was brought up better than that. All the same, she couldn't wait to tell Cilia about this!  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander watched Spike pace frantically while looking for cigarettes he knew weren't there and mumbling to himself. The brunette could discern only some of his tirade. Among the less colorful exclamations were death threats to Willow in many festive variations.  
  
"Spike, what is it?"  
  
Xander tried. He was starting to panic. Whatever it was had to be bad or Spike wouldn't have cracked like this. In fact Xander was glad to be stuck with the vampire because he trusted Spike to get them back. # does that mean I'm really smart or really, not. . . ? # The Slayerette looked around. There was the girl. She must have something to do with this because before they ran in to her everything was normal. # now, there's a word that never applies! # So, what.. . . ? They got transported to a place where people act like the cast of a Jane Austin movie? Well, maybe that was panic worthy. . .  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike stopped panicking long enough to watch Xander work out what was becoming painfully obvious.  
  
Xanders' brain went in to overdrive. What was he missing. . .? of course!  
  
"everyone's turned in to their costumes again, just like on Halloween!"  
  
From the raised eyebrow he guessed that wasn't it. But the only other option his brain was able to offer was outside the realm of possibility. No way were they actually in the past.. .  
  
And there it was. The look of understanding that blossomed on Xanders' features he'd been waiting for.  
  
He nodded in affirmation and tried to ponder the implications.  
  
"well this is just. . ."  
  
"neat."  
  
Xander finished for him. His voice was embarrassingly close to a squeak.. His heart rate increased dramatically and he began to shiver. Feeling his stomach clench as spots danced in front of his eyes the younger man leaned up against the side of a building and then abruptly jumped back up, as if touching it would meant the situation gained a foothold in reality.  
  
"Xander, breath."  
  
All traces of panic now gone, Spike was focused on the shivering boy in front of him. He wasn't taking this well. To Spikes' relief Xander drew in a shaky breath. He wasn't going to pass out at least. A pair of soulful eyes met his and the vampire could read his every emotion in them for a second.  
  
"are you sure. . . ?"  
  
It was less than a whisper. The prerogative of someone who already knows the answer but asks the question anyway to kill the last spark of hope part of them is clinging to with fierce determination.  
  
Spike winced and nodded and saw that spark fizzle out and die.  
  
"Xander this is temporary. I've lived this once already and there's no way in hell I'm doin' it again, got it? Just trust me and play along. You with me?"  
  
Spike hoped that his tone of voice would snap Xander out of his catatonic state, but was apparently out of luck. Instead he probably frightened the distressed youth and was now thinking of some way to make it alright again, but nothing sprang to mind.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"I'm here, pet. Just stick with me, for now."  
  
Spike coaxed Xander away from the wall he was once again leaning on and gave him a questioning look. Seeing Xander nod he took a step towards the girl hoping Xander would follow. He did, but then stopped suddenly with a sharp intake of breath.  
  
"Spike, what are you gonna eat? You, you can't. . ."  
  
# leave me! # Xander was going to say, but caught himself just in time to not sound that pathetic. # calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm. . . not working!! Ok, ok, don't panic. What would Buffy do? #  
  
Spike did a double take. Had he heard that right? Despite everything, a weird feeling filled his unbeating heart. The first thing that came out of Xanders mouth after his panic attack was concern for his welfare! # Those friends of his take the boy for granted. #  
  
"don't worry luv, we'll be long gone by lunch time. Could stand to loose a few pound anyway. . ."  
  
That drew a smile.  
  
Spike was trying to make him feel better?? Xander had to smile at that. his heart fluttered at the thought. # great. A heart attack would make my day complete! # though somehow that seemed preferable to the alternative explanation for the fuzzy feelings at the moment.  
  
Spike smiled back and walked up the road, trying not to think about his own fears. Because he was Spike, slayer of slayers, master vampire who didn't have any fears. To think about. Nope. 


	3. Chapter V

Chapter V - Motel VI  
  
@---;------ ------;---@  
  
  
  
The room was cold. Dampness seemed to permeate and cling to everything, chilling the stale air. The one thing that Spike hated about being a vampire (and that's not saying that he would ever change what he was given the choice) but never the less, he hated how cold it was. True, vampires didn't feel the cold like humans did, or rather they weren't effected by it, it was more of a personal preference. He hated being cold.  
  
Right now there was little he could do to help it though, save curl up under the thinning blanket and pretend he had body heat, but then, master vampires didn't sleep in little balls. That's more of a kitten thing. He sighed, looking at the water stained sealing of the attic room and thought about the events leading up to this.  
  
'William' had just finished telling Miss Mary Anne Wilson all about their incredibly, uneventfully dull travels and how he and Mr. Alexander Levelle came to be in the woods at that particular time of night. She had kindly agreed to show the weary travelers to the inn in town provided that they ". . . really must come to tea tomorrow and regale us with tales of your travels. It will be ever so exiting!" It was very difficult to bluff his way through the convoluted account of how their coach had been attacked. After scaring off the bandits, they decided to go on to the next town, sending the coachman back to " hmm, now what was the name of that quaint little town up the river.? 'Crofford?' Mary supplied helpfully, ah, yes, Crofford." They were apparently headed to London to stay with an acquaintance.  
  
Spike had known more or less where they were from the moment they met the girl. He recognized the lilt in the accent. The familiar feeling he'd had all along suddenly made perfect sense. 'When' they were was another question. Outright asking what the year was may have sounded a little strange however. He could get Xander to do it. Somewhere in the course of the conversation it was established that the young man had hit his head pretty hard and was a little confused. That little bit of trivia saved a lot of explanations for the boys' 'odd' behavior.  
  
Mary had declined going in to the inn with them, and upon Xanders' vehement protest against being left there alone, she left unescorted. 'Mrs. Cilia Young will be happy to provide me with an escort, you needn't trouble your selves. She lives not a minutes walk away. . ." That was the kicker. Just as Spike was conformable in the knowledge that things couldn't get much worse, there it was. Murphy's law. The alarm bells started ringing the second Mary uttered that name, and were unfortunately far too loud for the vampire to make out anything she had said after.  
  
Saying a hasty goodbye to their new friend, the two entered the inn. Drawing the attention of the few hardy looking patrons, Spike procured a room for the night. 'I'd like to take you at your word sir, but. . .' Spike was too tired to try and talk his way out of the standing 'money first' rule, so he walked over to Xander, relieving him of his wrist watch. (Which wasn't hard since the more the boy saw, the more real it all became so he was a little out of it to say the least.) The innkeeper didn't immediately understand the purpose of the device, but once Spike explained what the digital numbers meant he agreed to let them stay for two nights, meals included. All Spike wanted to do now was get Xander somewhere quiet and try to get him out of the catatonically passive state he was in right now. Unfortunately for his plans, the innkeeper wanted to chit chat.  
  
"who's your friend there? He's a bit quite, inn'e?"  
  
Spike smiled politely and explained that they were both tired form the long journey.  
  
"'e's a pretty one. I know you don't keep 'im round for the company, eh?"  
  
The sleazy grin that spread over the mans face was enough to turn anyone's stomach. Xander remained blissfully oblivious as Spikes' own smile turned deadly. He leaned forward over the bar conspirationally and whispered something to the innkeeper. Those who had been watching saw the man blanch, then stutter helplessly through an apology and show the two strangers to their room.  
  
So here they were. Xander finally fell asleep after the hot broth and some creative avoidance of the severity of their predicament on the part of Spike.  
  
When they reached the top of the stairs the innkeeper handed Spike the room keys and a candle, scurrying away as fast as his chubby legs would carry him. Xander sat on the edge of one of the two beds in the attic room and started to rock gently. It's like he didn't want to see anymore of what was around him. The vampire knew that he'd be taking this a whole lot better if he wasn't exhausted and hungry. He sat next to Xander on the bed.  
  
"pet? You still with me?"  
  
His tone was soft but had no effect. Xander just kept staring at the wall. Placing a hand on the brunettes' shoulder he tried again  
  
"Xander?"  
  
That seemed to work. He felt the boy relax slightly under his touch as he looked down and swallowed. Then he looked at Spike. Oh God, that look said more that Xander could have even if he showed signs of trying. He really had no hope of getting back, did he? This had suddenly become his new reality, and understandably, he didn't like it much. Trying to imagine what it would be like to except the fact that they were stuck here forever, Spike knelt in front of the boy. There was nothing he could say right now though so he just rubbed Xanders' arm in a conforming gesture and hoped that the slayerette would find some way out of his own misery soon.  
  
"stay right here, luv. I'll be right back."  
  
Spike came back from the kitchen with a cup of broth and murmuring words of comfort got Xander to drink it.  
  
"I'm ok now."  
  
He finally said, despite the fact that he was far from it. At least he was talking. Spike stood Xander up and throwing back the blankets on the bed made him lay down, and pulled them over the boy. He wished there was more he could do, while part of him was questioning his need to tuck in one of the slayers' groupies.  
  
"try to sleep. We'll find a way out of here tomorrow."  
  
Spike said the last part with conviction and seeing the boy nod in response and close his eyes he went to lie down as well.  
  
That was two hours ago.  
  
Two hours of starring at the ceiling, thinking about why the fates had chosen to send them back here. Here and now. Cilia Young. That was a common enough name, Spike kept telling himself. But somehow he knew that this was more than some strange coincidence. Well it explained why the name of the town had sounded so familiar. And worst of all, that wasn't the most worrying thing. Neither was the fact that they were stuck in the past. # Xander. #  
  
After the first hour, Spike realized that he was watching the boy sleep. He turned away, dismissing it, and found himself listing to his heart beat. He was concerned for the younger man, and his thoughts kept dwelling around that. Spike was willing to admit that, maybe they had become something like friends. With all of them. Somehow, between now and then he had gone form planning interesting ways of killing them all once the chip was out, to being a full time member of the Slayers' gang. He helped Rupert with translations, Sparred with Buffy, taught the witches how to play poker and made sure nothing ate Xander. Some how their expectance of him was worth more than most things that he'd had during his unlife. That in it self was worrying. But maybe he could live with it. He'd never been one to play by the rules, after all. But this. .. the vampire was willing to concede that he felt something for the boy breathing quietly across the room. *Something *. This is all he needed. # why pick what you can't have? Let's compare and contrast shall we? You - vampire. Xander- human. You- evil. Xander- caring, compassionate, perceptive, selfless, . . .# the list went on for a while, until Spike had convinced himself that there was no way Xander would ever want to be anything more than non-enemies, and even if he did, Spike wasn't sure he wanted to inflict himself on the boy. After all, he couldn't really know what kind of a monster Spike was. He didn't regret anything he had done during his 'master vampire' days. Did regretting not regretting mean anything? The vampire found himself hoping it did.  
  
"St. . . Stop!"  
  
Xander was tangled up in the sheets and clearly in the middle of a nightmare. Spike had been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed until the boy mumbled something.  
  
"Spike! Stop. . ."  
  
Before he had a chance to think the vampire was shaking Xander awake. He couldn't have misheard. That was his name right? # what did you expect? You got the starring role in his nightmares, you should be flattered. #  
  
"Xander, wake up!"  
  
@  
  
# What is it? I'm awake, what is it? # Suddenly Xander realized that he was only thinking it, because he couldn't hear anything else apart from his ragged breathing, and someone, # Spike. # his brain supplied, yes, Spike calling his name. There was a big chunk of something missing. Like he was feeling the effects of whatever it was, but the thing itself was gone. A moment later he wished it would have stayed that way. Memory came crashing back, along with the latest installment of 'make Xander go nuts', the nightmare he'd just apparently been woken up from. By Spike. Xander stopped gasping for air suddenly. He wasn't still asleep was he? He looked at Spike. No. He was awake.  
  
This was his Spike. # *my* Spike? # well the crucial difference was that this one wasn't trying to kill him. He sighed.  
  
"alright, alright, I'm awake. . ."  
  
Spike stopped shaking him. Was that concern? Panic? # mind games? #  
  
"hey. You had me worried for a second there, whelp. What did you dream?"  
  
# Coaxing tone. He really wants to know? # Xander debated weather or not he should tell Spike about the nightmare. He knew he should, since at least they could figure out what to do with the reality of it, but. . . yeah, he should tell him.  
  
"Oh y'know. Just your average run of the mill 'Xander buffet' nightmare. Nothing special."  
  
Apparently though, that gave away something more than he'd intended, by the look on Spikes' face. The slayerette wondered if he still did that 'talking in your sleep' thing. So now he couldn't not tell him. . . in resignation, he turned to face the wall. Technicolor images flashed beneath his closed eyelids.  
  
"In my dream, you were dying. . . You said um. . ., the only thing I could do was cut my wrist and let you, y'know. . . well, you kind'a got a tad carried away with the whole draining me thing. I told you to stop but you. . .ah, I know, it's stupid, you can't bite me. See me laughing."  
  
Xander rushed through the explanation, clearly uncomfortable and then turned on to his back, to face the consequences.  
  
Spike just sat there looking at him for a moment. The expression on his face was unreadable. The vampire, heaving discovered that his way of dealing with the situation was to overcompensate in taking care of Xanders' way of dealing, went going to great lengths to hide his feelings. Xanders' way of dealing, of course was to shut down for a while and sort things out, like he always did, only more extreme. This meant he was mostly unaware of Spikes' actions before, but now that he was more himself again. . . Spike couldn't just sit there and do nothing though. He had to reassure the boy somehow. Without it appearing out of the ordinary. That's the last thing Xand. . . # the whelp # needed.  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
The question was so loaded that it probably shouldn't be moved without precautions. It served to break Spike out of his musings though.  
  
"Listen, I would never want you to do that."  
  
Xander was trying hard not to flinch, seeing as how the vampire next to him wasn't acting the way Xander thought he would. In fact he seemed down right angry at Xander for suggesting it. Some times Spike was like two different people. At least one of them was Xanders' friend, and the other was, well his non-enemy. One guess as to which one he just insulted. . .  
  
"Hey, I know you'd never ask, but-"  
  
Spike could see where this was going long before it got there. He knew what the boy was offering. All his resolve to keep up appearances melted like so much ice-cream.  
  
He smiled and pulled the blanket higher over Xander, getting up.  
  
"No. I would never *want* you to do that precious. Sleep now."  
  
Xander stared. # Split personality disorder, much? # . . . # did he just call me 'precious' ? #  
  
While Xander brushed it off as a Spike-ism, the vampire was in denial about it ever happening. # . . . I am henry the eighth, I am. . . #  
  
Getting up, the vampire made sure the window was covered and climbed back in to bed, definitely *not* watching Xander who was definitely *not* thinking about Spike.  
  
TBC. . .  
  
[Comments: In a review someone happened to mention that the conduct of the inn keeper was unheard of in the time period and thus lacks factual validity. While I would have liked to do a little more research in to this time period before writing this, I'd like to state that this was hardly the cream of society and his behavior is not completely out of the ball park. I also feel I'm allowed some amount of artistic licensee as this is fiction, and I like Spike getting all protective:)] 


	4. Chapter VI

Chapter VI - The devil you know  
  
  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
The lazy afternoon sunshine crept across the floor of the 'Magic Box' lighting up the dust in the air and wrapping the room in a shimmering, golden haze. It was also the reason that a certain vampire whose toes had been singed as the day progressed across the floor was now awake. The other occupants of the room had fallen in to an exhausted slumber after an all night research party. Or so thought Angel, until he realized that a hushed argument could be heard coming from the training room. He strained his hearing:  
  
". . . Buffy, you must understand, I had no other choice."  
  
"but, Giles, how do you know he'll help us? Even if he can. . ."  
  
"Trust me. He will."  
  
"Do I even wanna know. . . ?"  
  
"I rather think not."  
  
(Angel could almost see the watcher take off and polish his glasses at this point,)  
  
"I spoke to him earlier. He will be here later today."  
  
"Ethan Rayne. Now there's someone I never thought I'd. . ., actually no. I knew he'd be back. They *always* come back. . ."  
  
When the day reached the checkout counter (making it the only customer,) the door bell chimed and in walked the subject of much debate and controversy, with a characteristic air of disinterest. Ethan Rayne. He was perceptive enough to know that most of the people in the room wanted nothing more (or less) than to knock his lights out, but then that was to be expected. Try and kill a person enough times and they're bound to hold a grudge.  
  
"Ripper!"  
  
Giles nodded tersely in acknowledgement and stood up straighter.  
  
"What? No hugs?"  
  
He walked confidently in to the center of the room stopping in front of the research table and blatantly ignoring the deadly stares, gave Angel a curious once-over.  
  
"What's all this I hear about you folks needin' my help?"  
  
Giles shuddered. Well at least Ethan was willing to get straight to the point. Fortunate, since Buffy was on the verge of leaping out of her seat.  
  
"Ah, yes. We need you to do, a,"  
  
"A locating spell!"  
  
Willow cut in. She could see Giles take off his glasses and start to polish them. He wasn't even annoyed at her for interrupting. Worrying.  
  
"oh and aren't you a pretty young thing. And what did you loose?"  
  
It was Willows turn to shudder. She scooted closer to Tara drawing an amused smile from Ethan.  
  
"Um, eww, and Xander. . ."  
  
"And Spike."  
  
Buffy contributed.  
  
"oh, I see. So you want me to help you find your friends."  
  
He said, drawing out every word, and looking for all the world like the sentence he'd just uttered was in a foreign language.  
  
Giles knew he was playing with them. They had a lengthy (conversation was perhaps too civilized a word ) over the phone earlier, and the watcher explained the situation to him in some detail. No. he was just doing it to grate on his nerves.  
  
"Ethan."  
  
The warning tone was unmistakable. It still spooked Buffy how easily Giles could go from stuffy tweed man to Ripper the sociopath rebel without a cause. Except now he had a cause. And it was lounging not two feet away on the edge of the desk. She had given up on trying to work out the history between the two a long time ago, it was none of her business anyway. But now, it seemed that it had become important again suddenly, to know just how far Giles could be pushed. Ethan apparently decided to find out another time, since he baked up putting his hands out in front of him in a placating gesture, a smile still clinging to his face.  
  
"naw, naw, Ripper ol' pal. No need to get testy."  
  
"Do we have an agreement then?"  
  
The other man seemed to consider for a moment, then sighed long- sufferingly.  
  
"Show me what you got."  
  
An hour later Ethan was caught up on the information they had, which would have taken a lot less time, had he been less proficient at instigating homicidal tendencies in people.  
  
The vortex Willow had conjured was apparently unidirectional, and sent whatever came through it back in to the past two hundred years, according to their research. However it also served as a window to the thing that was sent back, Xander and Spike in this case, as it was anchored to them, in their time. The problem arose when the vortex was required to appear in the same physical location and the travelers. Ethan was working on combining another spell with the one that allowed the vortex to stay anchored to them.  
  
Progress was slow. And meanwhile, there were other things to worry about, such as the fact that the longer Xander and Spike remained where they were, the more chance there was of them changing something in the past, thus effecting the present. Willow hadn't specified where exactly the vortex would appear, so the location was most likely random, but it did look like a pretty desolate place, so at least there was little risk of them changing anything important. Still. . .  
  
"What am I looking for, again?"  
  
Angel smiled at Buffys' attention span.  
  
"Any signs that indicate this happened before, in other cases of time travel."  
  
Buffy smiled sheepishly. That was a long sentence. Considering the source.  
  
"Oh. Thanks."  
  
The temperature in the room seemed to drop at the glare from Riley, who was sitting across the table. Willow cleared her throat loudly, and heaving distracted their attention, asked a question she'd been nursing for a while.  
  
"Hey, is anyone else curios as to why Ethan is trying to help us? I mean really, he's been all out since three, with hardly a peep. You think maybe he's . . . you know. . . changed his evil ways?"  
  
Buffy had been wondering that herself. But it was definitely the same old Ethan. Soo. . .  
  
"I don't think so, Wills. Giles went all 'clams are us' on me when I asked, but it think this is payback for something."  
  
Both of the Englishmen in question remained unawares up in the stacks.  
  
"Whatever it is it must be big."  
  
"Yeah. . ."  
  
Suddenly, an exclamation of joy, followed by a crash and assorted English swearwords came from Ethan and Giles.  
  
"I think. . . yes! Yes, here it is."  
  
After a while Ethan came crashing out of the other room with an armful of books, and happy grin on his face. Dumping them unceremoniously in the middle of the table, he proceeded to explain, as modestly as his character allowed, what it was he found.  
  
Buffy zoned out about half way through, but once Giles stepped in to explain the obscure references it appeared as though they had a solution.  
  
Willow was eager to try the new spell straight away, but after some convincing she agreed to wait until morning. After all, it would do more harm than good if she was too drained to do it right, and messed it up. Still she was worried. # What if they change something. . . it'll be like 'Back to the future II' without the funny. #  
  
Buffy was a little lost when it came to the whole changing the past deal. If they changed it then how would anyone know? They were already in the future, so how were they supposed to tell if it was the real one, or the changed one? What if it was changing all the time and they just didn't know it? Suddenly the 'world without shrimp' conversation she'd had with Anya came back to her.  
  
She winced at the thought of the ex demon. Xander was a wreck for weeks after she'd left. He never told anyone what happened exactly. One day, at the magic box, Xander was still trying to deal, Spike decided to stay true to form and push him too far. Finally Xander exploded at the vampire and the fight that followed led Spike to being almost staked. # the bleached wonder just doesn't know when to quit. # of course after that Xander was back to himself again. Maybe Spike *did* know when to quit after all. Of course that would mean he'd done something out of the evilness of his heart, so to speak.  
  
The thought, though unlikely, wasn't entirely out of the ball park.  
  
Buffy had been very weary of Spike when he first 'joined the gang' but now, she not only tolerated him but trusted him as well. Not a lot, but still. . . she tried not to dwell on it too much.  
  
The Slayer knew enough to see that Spike wasn't all he appeared, and somehow she felt reassured that he was with Xander. The two seemed to have bonded somewhat since enforced living arraignments. Also, she observed a worrying trend the vampire had of protectiveness towards Xander. # he's just doing it to annoy me! # she thought. It was almost believable, too.  
  
She nodded pensively at the end of Giles' outline of the plan of action. She'd paid enough attention to know they were meeting back there at midday tomorrow.  
  
# lets just hope that they can avoid drastically altering the course of humanity until lunch time. . .#  
  
TBC. . . 


	5. Chapter VII

Chapter VII - 'Sleepy Hollow' much?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"The frenchie said 't was a watch. . ."  
  
"Don't look like one to me. . ."  
  
"Aye. What'd the numbers mean?"  
  
"Haven't' a clue, but look. . ."  
  
The innkeeper scooted closer to the two men across the table and grinning pressed the button on the side of Xanders' watch, making the LCD screen light up green for a few seconds. Heaving impressed his two friends he put the watch back in his tunic. He'd gotten it from the scary stranger last night for two night's stay. That was a bargain by anyone's standards!  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander slowly swam back to consciousness after the restless nights sleep. He groaned as he realized that he'd been less than completely useless in their little adventure so far. He expected more from himself, considering what he did for a living. Or to stay living. Depending on how you looked at it. Well at least things seemed to be back to normal now that, the shock had worn off.  
  
Spike was awake. He knew Xander had just woken up when the boy moved then groaned and turned to face him. For the life of him he couldn't figure out how the boy knew he wasn't still asleep.  
  
"Hey. Not a dream then. . . ?"  
  
"Not likely," # don't you dare say it! #  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
Xander asked, feeling for his watch as he tried to roll out of bed.  
  
"'bout ten."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Spike saw the look that appeared on the boys face when he realized his watch was gone. It was like he remembered suddenly where it went. So that meant he remembered everything? Great. Things just seemed different in the metaphorical light of day. Spike checked the window just in case.  
  
"Umm. . . sorry I went all 'zombie boy' on ya last night. . . I was pretty out of it. . ."# oh goody, something new and different for me! #  
  
"No problem, pet" # you said it!. . . *I* am going to *hurt* you #  
  
"Just don't zone out again. God knows you ain't got two brain cells to rub together, but you might come in useful. The innkeeper sure seemed interested. . ." Spike added. # great, I'm talking without my brain being involved in any way. How progressive of me. . . #  
  
Xanders' eyes narrowed as he glared at the vampire. That look the man gave him last night entrenched it self in his memory. # what did you expect? He'd start being nice to you now that there's no one to impress? Riight. It looks like we're back to a scotch relationship. # Xander did a mental double take at his choice of words. # as in 'on the rocks'! # he quickly amended.  
  
"Eww. And, is it a little dark in here?"  
  
Xander reached for the makeshift curtain making Spike start from the bed, then lay back realizing the boy wouldn't really do it. Seeing his point had been made Xander took in their surroundings.  
  
The room was small, rectangular with a low sealing and walls sloping inwards. Two beds lined each wall with a gap between them. There was a small round window in the far wall, under witch there was a chest of drawers with a wash bowl and jug on it. The door was at the other end of the room and next to it there was a small dressing table. Save a couple of chairs, that about completed the furnishings.  
  
There wasn't a color scheme as such, it was more like everything was a natural variance of brown. Xander felt like he stuck out in the monotonous space in his lemon yellow pullover and blue shirt. But then, Xander unique dress sense ensured he felt like that most of the time.  
  
Xander took stock of his rather crumpled clothes and ran a hand through his shaggy hair, thinking about how much he'd like a hot shower.  
  
"Um.. is there a bathroom?"  
  
"yeah, out side. I wouldn't count on running water."  
  
Xander looked like Spike had just poured salt on an open wound. Despite appearance his hygiene habits were definitely better suited to the twentieth century.  
  
"Great!"  
  
Xander was frustrated. And cold. He shivered.  
  
"What? No central heating either? And here I was getting my hopes up."  
  
"It's not all bad. . . well it is, but at least we're gettin' out a' ere soon."  
  
The slayerette nodded desperate agreement and getting up, peeked through the crack in the window.  
  
"Sleepy Hollow much?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"So what's the plan?"  
  
"Careful with that!"  
  
Xander replaced the curtain and turned around. Spike had gotten to his feet also and was pacing. Something of an accomplishment in the cramped space, Xander thought. The out side looked. . . well, gray. It was like what you'd be left with if you took all the heat and color out of a place. Weird. Depressingly so. But nature called and with a small amount of unspeakable terror he left the room saying he'd be right back. # The ultimate jinx that never fails! # But he could take care of himself. He could. Yes. Just as Xander had convinced himself the ultimate jinx that never failed did just that.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A short while later a panicked Xander ran in to the room just as Spike was going out to look for him. Well, # not *look* for him! #, but that argument with himself had ended in some out of tune singing as so many Xander- thoughts did.  
  
"Will ya watch where you're going!! What in blazes's the matter with you?!"  
  
Spike extricated himself from the tumble of limbs. The whelp had burst through the door with such unexpected speed that they ended up tangled together on the floorboards. Under different circumstances, not the worst place to find your self, thought Spike, but not being a little upset would give the game away. Xander blushed getting up, dusting himself off nervously and glanced back at the door.  
  
"Ugh! Sorry, you alright?"  
  
A brief moment of confusion followed, where in Spike was tying to work out why Xander was so out of character. # am *I* alright? When did he start caring? # he was still waiting for the hounds of hell to burst through the door.  
  
"What's after you?"  
  
The boy looked flustered for a moment, then shrugged, trying hard to think of a change of subject. He'd just had an encounter with that fat guy from the other night and he could only understand every other word he said, so Xander decided to get back to Spike, ahem, the *room* as fast as possible.  
  
"Oh, nothing. I just. . . lets just say you were right about the innkeeper."  
  
Spikes eyes flashed gold for a second. He shook it off. He couldn't suppress his protective instinct for a moment there he almost lost it. The boys' sent wasn't doing anything to suppress his baser instincts either, so it seemed like a good idea to relocate for a while to cool off. He headed for the door.  
  
"Spike? Where you off to?"  
  
Xander asked a little apprehensively. Yes, the vampire supposed it could look like he was storming out of the room in a murderous rage. He smiled.  
  
"Just thought I'd go beat the shit out of that sleaze ball. Be right back, pet." At the wink and cocky smile, Xander relaxed knowing the vampire was joking.  
  
"Yeah, well bring me some breakfast while you're at it!"  
  
Spike was walking out the door.  
  
"What am I, room service?"  
  
Xander tried not to pout and make puppy eyes at he vamp, who sighed theatrically and walked out of the room. It worked like a charm. . . # hold on, did I just give Spike the patented puppy eyes look? # # well it worked didn't it. . .# # that's not the point! Wait a moment. . . it worked? # # someone's got a cru-ush. . .# # I do *not* !! # # then stop talking to yourself! #  
  
Spike carefully avoided the patch of light leaking in through the window as he made his way down the stairs. He decided to go find a high stakes poker game down at the bar, not only would they need money, but also the other players were far too drunk to realize he was pumping them for information. They would need that too.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Afterwards, when no one had any more money to loose, Spike came back up to their room. Heaving to keep up the 'William' persona for so long was emotionally taxing. He could have just gone back to being Spike. The clientele here wasn't exactly the cream of society, but he figured that if he could pass for a mark, they'd be more willing to play. The vampire dropped on to the bed and curled around a pillow with a sigh. Xander thought that it would be only polite to let the vampire know he was there.  
  
"That bad, huh?"  
  
Spike looked up, and seeing he wasn't alone, uncurled with as much dignity as he could muster and got up.  
  
"didn't know you were still 'ere."  
  
# Uh oh. He's looking for his cigarettes, and he didn't call me 'pet'. Two very bad signs. #  
  
Earlier, Spike had brought Xander some food as promised, and after breakfast ( consisting of things that only vaguely resembled food) the slayerette said that he might go out on the town, so to speak. Since they were in the past, he might as well make the most of it. He promised the vampire to be careful and they both left. The adventure was short lived for Xander though, as the stares people were giving him got unnerving and soon he came back to the inn. Well at lest Xander knew where they were now. And when.  
  
"So, um, d'you know where we are?"  
  
Spike shot him a look that could only be described as sadistic if you wanted to be positive.  
  
"Were we are is one hundred and thirty nine years ago, in the only place in the world that's *worse* than hell, with no foreseeable hope of getting back, barring mummification! Anything else?!"  
  
# Where did that come form? # they both thought at the same time, but the flood gates had opened and there was no taking it back.  
  
"Oh, what happened to 'we're getting out of here in no time' ? That was what you kept insisting on yesterday!"  
  
Xander had meant that to be tension barker, but it came out sounding bitter instead.  
  
"Well maybe if you hadn't been crackin' up at the time, I would've told you the truth!"  
  
"Since when do you care!!?"  
  
Spike realized that the boy was taking this personally and this being a bigger issue for him, the vampire decided to try and backpedal  
  
"Xander,"  
  
But Xander cut him off, his voice rising another decibel or ten, and if he was loud before, he was downright yelling now.  
  
"Anyway, I told you we weren't getting out of here yesterday, all you had to do was keep your mouth shut!!"  
  
"Listen,"  
  
"Oh what?! You're gonna tell me it's all gonna be fine now? I'm stuck in the past with *you* and I can't do anything about it except wait and hope someone else comes through for me for once!!"  
  
"They'll get,"  
  
"NO! Look, you don't know what it's like being the one that, that. . ."  
  
Xander was breathing hard now pointing an accusing finger at Spike but the words had just stopped. Even so, Spike was sure he knew what the slayerette was going to say if he could. Even if he didn't know it himself. Xander had to rely on other people to save him and despite how much he loved them, he didn't trust them. Didn't trust them to come through for him. # what would get a person like Xander to think he wasn't worth the effort? # thought Spike. Two very un-vampire like thoughts were chasing themselves through his brain. One, he felt like shit for heaving been the cause of Xanders' distress, and two, he couldn't help but think that in the grand scheme of universal unfairness, this one took the biscuit. The boy didn't deserve this! # it's not bloody fair. . . , listen to yer self you nonce. It's not like you're in love with him or somethin'. Right? Oh, soddin' hell. #  
  
Spike sat down on the edge of the bed. The gesture spoke volumes in the tense atmosphere. Xander had run out of stem half way through a sentence, and was standing in the middle of the room, jaw clenched, digging his nails in to the palms of his hands to try and get his emotions back under control. It had just all been too much suddenly. He felt sick, but there was no way he was crying in front of Spike again. Logically he shouldn't care what the vamp thought of him, but some how just heaving a goal made him feel better. Useful, somehow. And he needed to be useful. Being useless led to badness. That was the one lesson life had firmly entrenched on the young man's subconscious.  
  
"I ran in to an old friend yesterday."  
  
Spike hated the change of subject. The words hung in the air. It was the only way he could think of to fix this though. Spike knew that Xander would focus on his problem so he decided to share.  
  
Xanders' expression changed suddenly. He had been so caught up with himself that he didn't stop to consider what started all this. he could tell it was a blatant change of subject but it seemed as though the vampire didn't want to talk about whatever it was, but was telling him about it anyway. That helped Xander take control of himself. He sat down next to Spike on the bed.  
  
"didn't know who it was until today though. Funny thing that." this was big. Not a lot of things could get Spike to act like it was bothering him and none of them good.  
  
"who was it?"  
  
Spike realized that while his brilliant idea had worked, it paved the way for the unavoidable spillage of his guts about the whole thing. Great.  
  
"I knew a girl called Cicily back in the day."  
  
"Did you have a thing? Ohh, this wasn't in the watchers' diaries. . ."  
  
Xander was trying to lighten the mood, Spike seemed genuinely depressed. He wanted to help. Despite his moral standpoint on helping soul-less killers. This was Spike after all.  
  
"no, I wouldn't think this would be. This was before I was turned."  
  
Xander listened attentively as Spike told him about Cicily Young, the love of his life. how it hurt to be rejected by her and humiliated by her friends. He noticed periodically, Spikes' accent would slip, and if the vampire noticed, he would clench his jaw, sigh and shake it off in annoyance, launching fervently in to cockney again. Strange. Xander was under no illusions that Spike would under no circumstances want to stay here. After all, why not? The gambling possibilities alone were enough of an incentive. And Spike was immortal. But no, something told Xander that the vampire wanted to be there less than he did, and that's saying something. Xander found himself wondering why the vampire wouldn't at least enjoy the experience while it lasted: It would be like reliving a childhood. Then he remembered his own childhood. The end of Spikes tale had laid any doubts Xander had about Spike wanting to stay to rest. It was a lot to process. The amount of times he'd tried to figure Spike out. . . and now, he hadn't even asked and he'd just had a good deal of it explained to him. The way Spike described himself, beside the conflicting imagery Xander found hard to visualize, knowing Spike now, it was a sure bet a psychiatrist would have a field day! Now Xander knew why Spike was so different from all other vampires.  
  
Xander wasn't saying anything. He just sat there. Spike felt like he was on trail, and why should the boy's opinion count for anything anyway? Would he even care? All the same, it was hard telling him what happened. The last night he'd been alive. Being turned. The night that followed. . . The things he did to the woman he idolized as a mortal. He was far more clever than Angelus when he wanted to be, oh yes, unfortunately for poor Cecily. That night would stay with him forever, because what he did then, as a fledgling barley knowing left from right in his new existence, he had always *regretted* . At first he'd tried to ignore the feeling. For the first one hundred years or so. Drusilla always knew though. Vampires weren't supposed to be able to regret things. ' My sweet Spike, all shiny, you are! Like a candle. . . in a window. Try to get in but there is the glass. . . you can't see Spike!' she used to say thing like that to him. He didn't understand her at first. In fact a misinterpretation had led to his trademark hair color. But it made perfect sense now.  
  
"Wow."  
  
Xander knew he wasn't expressing himself very well, but # Wow! #  
  
Xander thinking of Spike as a monster was starting to really bother the vampire and he was glad that the boy had finally said something. And it wasn't the horror slash disgust he'd been half expecting.  
  
"You were a poet?"  
  
Xander smiled and Spike couldn't help but smile back. Xander was trying to make him feel better about the whole thing. The vampire let out a breath he'd been holding.  
  
"Yeah pet. I was bloody awful though, at least I was good enough to know that."  
  
Xander still couldn't believe Spike had told him all that. The 'Big Bad' had issues about appearing weak in front of anybody, and Xander felt oddly glad that Spike could tell him this. Not that he wasn't slightly wigged out, and it appeared as though Spike was expecting some from of recrimination from him, but Xander just wanted to make things better. While he was feeling all this, his brain had figured certain thing out. Making things better was suddenly a real possibility. That must be why Spike was freaked.  
  
@-----;--------------;--------@  
  
  
  
"Don't be too hard on your self."  
  
The double intendo wasn't lost on Spike, he was amazed to hear what sounded like 'it's in the past so don't beat your self up about it on my account', if you read between the lines. The vampire really tried to hide his smile but failed miserably. Xander grinned back. This didn't solve any of their problems, yet both felt better now that they had something they shared.  
  
". . . or else I'll have to go look up stuff by William Wordsworth and see for my self. ."  
  
"Don't even dream!. . ."  
  
Spike realized Xander was joking. He also realized that the boy, heaving done something clever, felt the need to convince him that he was still the same old Xander. He wasn't falling for that act anymore though. # But why the pretense?# He wondered, not for the first time.  
  
# Ok, time for a change of subject # thought Xander. He was sure that they were heaving a moment just when he told Spike to 'forget it' and the vampire smiled. Fuzzy feelings started to float around Xanders' head, so a change of subject seemed in order.  
  
"oh, this means I have to go to a library don't I? Oh well, small price to pay, when we get back, it'll be worth years of blackmail! Hmm, William Wordsworth-"  
  
"don't call me that."  
  
Xander had really been getting in to it, so being cut off came as a surprise and he snapped his mouth shut with a click. The words weren't harsh, just. . . honest.  
  
"ok."  
  
He said meekly. Then he turned to look at the vampire.  
  
"Spike."  
  
And now they were heaving another moment. Followed by blushing and fidgeting.  
  
Followed by frantic scrambling for something to say. The tension finally snapped when Xander couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. He didn't know what was funny, but whatever it was apparently Spike also found it amusing. When they were done,  
  
Xander was laying backwards on the bed and Spike was sitting on the floor leaning back against the bed frame. # hmm, where was I? Oh yeah. . . # Spike remembered what it was that was troubling Xander in the first place.  
  
"When?"  
  
The harsh panting behind him stopped.  
  
"huh?"  
  
Xander couldn't help the momentary panic that made his breath catch and his heart beat faster. The unexpected question made Xander think that Spike somehow knew more than he let on. The way that any question does to someone who has something to hide. # No! he can't. Anyway, there's nothing for him to know, even if he did which he doesn't. Stop being an idiot. Now. #  
  
"you said, '*when* we get back'. 's that mean you think we have a shot at it then?"  
  
Xander glared good-naturedly. He'd walked in to that one. But he had to admit, things didn't seem as dire all of a sudden. # What's the worst that could happen? #  
  
"yeah. . . Blindfolded and at a moving target but, yeah. . ."  
  
"ah, always the optimist aren't you, pet? Don't fret, I bet the Scoobies're doin' everything they can to get you back. Bet they're heaving a worse time of it than we are!"  
  
Spike thought a little optimism wasn't out of order right then. All they had to do was sit tight and wait to be rescued.  
  
"us."  
  
Xander said after a moment's thought, with a sense of conviction. It was Spikes' turn to be confused.  
  
"They're doing everything they can to get *us* back."  
  
Xander clarified. He realized that all things being equal, this whole experience must be a lot hared for Spike than him. Of course things weren't equal. Xander always seemed to be the one in need of comforting and reassurance. To himself at least. (To every one else he was the rock to lean on when things got really tough. They hadn't reached that point in their journey. Yet.)  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Spike said with a self depreciating smirk.  
  
". . . 'm sure they can't wait to see me again."  
  
Spike hadn't said it for sympathy, or out of self pity but facts were facts.  
  
Xander thought for a moment. Ok, so none of them had signed a card saying 'welcome to the Scooby club' but Spike had to know that he was part of their extended family, as he liked to think of it. Right? Well, he didn't get along with Buffy sometimes and he seemed to get special pleasure out of torturing Giles, ( a trait they shared), but that was just Spike. Everyone excepted that. Did he know? Xander felt a pang in his chest. He imagined for a moment what it would be like for him if he didn't know this.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Xander sat up on the bed and put his hand on the vampires' shoulder, making the blonde turn and face him.  
  
"But they would never leave you here. You know that."  
  
It wasn't a question. Xander couldn't stand the consequences of it being a question. Spike just nodded, stunned by the conviction in the boys' voice. There was a full minutes' silence, during witch both occupants of the room came to terms with everything said and unsaid. Spike was the one to finally break it.  
  
"all the same, I think we should have a back up plan. . ."  
  
Xander smiled at the contemplative tone the vampire had adopted. He knew the blonde menace was smarter than he let on.  
  
"oh, you mean to sitting here waiting to be rescued?"  
  
The boy echoed Spikes' thoughts from earlier.  
  
"yeah, that."  
  
Xander surprised himself by wanting to voice his idea. Normally he'd just wait and see if anyone else came up with it, but since there was only the two of them. # besides, this is Spike. . . he's not going to laugh at you. All right he will, but. . . oh just say it! # the absurdity of the thought was too painful to dwell on. He was afraid to speak up in front of his friends, but not Spike?  
  
"well, um. . . we're in merry ol' England right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
Spike said as encouragingly as he could and climbed on to the foot of the bed, sitting opposite Xander.  
  
"So, I was thinking, that, well the. . . the council might be able to help us?"  
  
Spike sat there with a smile tugging at his lips, looking at Xander with something like pride. He had picked up a lot about the boy during the last two years, and was unashamedly happy that he let his guard down. Although Xander was close to wincing and a blush was creeping across his face. # probably waiting for you to laugh. #  
  
"well?"  
  
Xander said in a small voice. This whole thing was somehow more deep and meaningful than he intended. And now Spike was just sitting there looking at him. He blushed wishing he would get on with it.  
  
Right about then the vampire realized he'd zoned out and cleared his throat unnecessarily looking anywhere but at the person opposite him.  
  
"oh, err, right. Council."  
  
This idea had occurred to Spike too, but he wanted to see what he boy had to say. Meanwhile Xander looked on confused. What had Spike been thinking about?  
  
"don't know how to break it to ya pet, but in those days they didn't exactly jump at the chance to help the 'evil undead'. . ."  
  
Xander was feeling something akin to moral outrage at every one ,(including Spike), assuming he was just another vampire.  
  
"They'll have to help us. Because. . ."  
  
After a short silence and a raised eyebrow from Spike Xander added  
  
"because you're our friend."  
  
And promptly looked down, thus not noticing the fact that Spikes' jaw hit the ground and something that could be described as a misty look appeared in his expressive eyes. # not 'because you're a good vampire' not 'because you're harmless'. * 'because you're our friend' *. Xanders' friend. # It may not have meant much to the council but it was worth everything to Spike. In the world according to Xander, Spike was his friend. It was enough just to know that.  
  
"So, I guess that means you have to trust me then, pet?"  
  
At that Xander looked up and took a break from kicking himself. Spike leaned closer across the bed and put his hand on Xanders shoulder just like he'd done earlier and he was transfixed by the vampires' intense clear blue gaze. As Spike said the next words, the same thought crossed their minds. A thought that made one heart race and one wish it could.  
  
"We're getting out of here. I promise."  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
TBC. . .  
  
A/N: Thank you again for reviewing, you guys keep me going. Sorry about all the spelling/grammer mistakes, I don't have a beta. And as somebody pointed out, when I say 'chouse' I mean 'cause' (me and my spellcheck have issues:) I'll post this again after I finish, and get someone to go over it for me.  
  
Ps: Special thanks to Mia, your review gave me an idea that helped clear up a case of writers block! 


	6. Chapter IIX

Chapter IIX - Bad Karma, (Great Timing.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Somewhere, in the void between realties, in the place to where the map had gone missing, (under suspicious circumstances), two beings stood watching the events described thus far with detached curiosity. One, the female of the pair, (though gender held no meaning to either of the entities, this one, for whatever reason preferred to assume the corporal form of a female, unlike her sibling, who was questionably male). 'She' was looking as nonplussed as possible about interfering with the mortals spell.  
  
"Dear sister, will this not interfere with your brilliant plans?"  
  
The voice that was no voice carried across the chasm of reality.  
  
"Have faith brother."  
  
Came the answer. The tone would have been smug if that petty characteristic applied to higher beings. For you see, the 'standing orders' as it were, from higher powers, stated that the balance between good and evil, light and dark, ( and numerous other opposites that it would take all day to mention and are quite unimportant since I'm sure you get the point,) well, the balance must be maintained. One could not exist without the other. The powers of darkness, (who, by the way had the ugliest carpets in existence but the food was quite good, at the last get together) were growing too strong. A worrior of light was needed.  
  
The fates presented an intriguing opportunity, in the form of a choice. A choice that belonged to none other than the vampire with a conscience he shouldn't have, and a heart that was broken. William 'the bloody' Wordsworth, a.k.a. Spike. However tempting an opportunity for his test was, it was against the rules for the powers to interfere directly.  
  
But, when the witch named Willow conjured her vortex, it wasn't against the rules to change where it led. Just as it wasn't against the rules to open doors that had been locked, or accidentally trip people up. Ok that last one was a bit of a stretch, but it was done now. William and his friend Xander were now exactly where they needed to be. The female entity was quite pleased with her efforts to bring another worrior over to the side of good.  
  
A feeling her brother didn't seem to share, for some reason.  
  
"but sister, the witch is working on a way to transport the subject of your little *test* back where he belongs as we speak. And what of his friend?"  
  
Whining wasn't something higher beings did a lot of, but in this case he was willing to make any effort. This just wasn't done! Couldn't his sister see that?  
  
"their attempts will fail. And his *friend* is there by design. He is.."  
  
"part of your test? And just what might it be, pray tell?"  
  
A secretive smile (the very same one that inspired master DeVinchi) , graced her lips for a moment. That was all the answer her brother would receive for now.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back at the Magic Box everyone had gathered to prepare for the spell. Buffy could sense that the air was thick with hope for the attempt to bring Spike and Xander back to the present.  
  
That, and cigarette smoke, courtesy of Ethan.  
  
Everyone tried to look occupied, even though the only ones actually doing any work were Willow, Tara and Ethan, who looked uncharacteristically worried. Maybe that was due to the fact that Giles told him in no uncertain terms that he would die slowly and painfully after the warlock made some crack about how many pieces they would be in after they came back. Death threats never seemed to bother him before though, so Buffy wondered if it wasn't something else entirely that was eating him. # one shouldn't use that term loosely, when describing Ethan. . . # Normally she wouldn't care, but there was little else to do since they couldn't start for at least another hour.  
  
"is everyone ready?"  
  
She couldn't help but see through the charade of busyness everyone was putting on.  
  
"almost. . . but we can't start yet."  
  
Ethans' tone was distracted. Something was definitely on his mind. Even so, he anticipated Buffys' next question.  
  
"We have to wait till it's night over there, just in case."  
  
He mumbled something else involving dust that earned him a death glare from Willow, but the slayer wasn't really listening. No, she was watching the testosterone levels rise as  
  
Angel and Riley engaged in a staring contest from opposite sides of the room. It was a fight to the death.  
  
  
  
Willow was nervous. Granted, it didn't take a lot of effort to get the young witch to be a little shaken up, but her best friends' life, (not to mention the unlife of a certain bleach blonde vampire) was in her hands.  
  
They had set everything up for the spell, and now all that was left was for  
  
Willow and Tara to meditate under the careful guidance of Ethan who was  
  
under careful observation of Giles.  
  
Everyone was fidgety. The atmosphere in the room was tense and clingy on the  
  
unusually cloudy day. The red haired girl suppressed a shudder and tried not to fidget.  
  
Meditation was never a strong point of hers, but fortunately Tara was there, she was her rock. Willow wished Xander was there too. . . yep, she'd have no problems getting Xander and Spike back if they where there. Xander to give support and encouragement, and Spike to tell her there was no way in hell she could do it, just so she could prove him wrong. She could always see through his particular brand of encouragement, and it always seemed to puzzle him when instead of being angry, she just smiled warmly at him. She missed her friends. She wanted them back, and, she would try her best to make that happen.  
  
The higher being almost felt bad for her.  
  
After all possible preparations had been made Willow started to chant. Everyone else present looked anxious, except for Ethan, who, despite his earlier mood grinned like this was a game he was enjoying, and Giles who was annoyed at him. A tingle in the air signaled that the spell was starting to take effect.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
After the bonding moment the two shared in the Inn, not to mention the uncomfortable silence that followed filled only with throats clearing and ' so anyway. . .', it was decided that they'd go see the town after the sun set.  
  
Xander had already gone exploring once, but not being familiar with the century, it wasn't much fun. This time Spike offered to come with him, and Xander was filled with a strange reassurance that nothing bad could possibly happen if the vampire that was now officially his friend, was there.  
  
Spike wondered, not for the first time, how they would get out of there. Though despite everything he was starting to enjoy himself, but he did promise. Would going back mean loosing the easy banter between them? The conformable feeling in the presence of another person Spike hadn't felt in so long? He didn't want to go back to being alone again. He sighed, and noticed the expectant look on Xanders' face.  
  
"sorry pet, I was miles away."  
  
Spike smiled and there was suddenly no way for Xander to be annoyed at him. It was. . . sweet. Now there's a word Xander never thought he'd associate with a vampire.  
  
Especially this one. But Spike had always been different. Xander shrugged.  
  
"it's nothing important. The sun's set. Wanna go?"  
  
The excitement was evident in the slayerettes' voice.  
  
"want to get something to eat first?"  
  
Xander pondered that for a moment before refusing on grounds that he preferred his food eatable. Spike laughed, but was forced to agree. They made their way out in to the street, still filled with people hurrying about their business in the fading light of the dusk. They were by no means the only ones out and about. . .  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"someone's been very naughty!"  
  
The exclamation came as unexpectedly as ever, distracting the demon from his concentrated efforts at stalking his next meal. He turned to glare, but found that the object of his current obsession was swaying gracefully away from him down the dark alley.  
  
"you run alon' and play, now. Don't wonder too far, will you."  
  
The slurred Irish brogue carried across the night but fell on death ears. Ears that were preoccupied with other things.  
  
The stars sang in her mind, of pretty things, so bright and shiny. Like candle light. . .  
  
Drussila moved towards the mouth of the ally with a chaotic grace, her lips curving in to a smile even as her eyes glazed over and sparkled airily, unaware of her audience. The moonlight silhouetted her form against a backdrop of dark streets and a moment later, she vanished from sight. The girl started to wonder if she'd seen the pretty angel at all.  
  
"not an angel, no, no, my sweet. Did you loose your mommy? Poor thing. . ."  
  
She *had* seen it! Here it was by her side, like magic!  
  
In the fractured mind of the newly formed vampire, the little lost child presented as much an opportunity for redemption as for a meal. The part of her that was whispering reassurances to the child had every intention of seeing her safely home. The part of her that was the demon saw only a 'happy-meal on legs'. The mad vampiress wondered why that description made such perfect sense.  
  
"ohhh, can you hear it deary?"  
  
The angel seemed very exited about something that the little girl couldn't see, but she smiled up at the swaying figure next to her and twirled happily to the sound she couldn't hear.  
  
Drusilla whispered conspirationally to the child, about what the moon had told her. The wrapped fascination with witch the girl listened to every word delighted the vampiress, and she went on, her words falling like raindrops, pretty, red rain drops. . .  
  
The Girl was frightened now, and her 'Angel' could understand why. It wasn't the blood stained lavender dress that tore as she tried to run, or the golden gaze of her captor, no, everything was going so terribly wrong, the stars cried for her, and it was too late now, they were coming.  
  
"Spike, my sweet. . . I've been waiting!"  
  
The hauntingly lucid voice rang out in the darkness, full of fear and a finality that only the pre-cognoscente can achieve. She was, after all, the only one who knew that had she kept quiet, even the faint scent of blood in the air wouldn't have attracted the attention of the figure at the end of the street. But it had to be done. It was not up to her. The choice was his.  
  
  
  
@------;---------;---------@  
  
  
  
Spike was hungry. Starving in fact. It had been about three days since he'd eaten and about another three that he could go without turning in to a less funny version of a famine picture from a dust country. He watched as Xander ventured ahead of him, in to the darkened street, never going too far though. The vampire could sense his anxiety around the other people they encountered. It was especially obvious because on those accessions Xander would smile and nod politely all the while standing behind Spikes shoulder, close enough for the vampire to be able to feel his every exhale on the back of his neck. Spike made it a point to talk to people more often. He was immune to the weirdness Xander was going through, heaving lived in this time before. And heaving Xander stand that close was too tempting to resist.  
  
They had ventured out of the inn just after dusk, which came early in winter, and had wondered the streets for a while, not really talking.  
  
It wasn't awkward. In Xanders' opinion the silence between them was anything but. It was comforting. His little adventure earlier had irked him. He was only out side for about ten minutes, and the only encounter that he didn't feel like he needed to repress was when he tripped over a little girl while scrambling back to the safety of Spike # the inn, I meant the inn. Yeah. # She had told him that he was wearing, quote 'strange clothing' but that she liked the pretty yellow. Xanders' stomach rumbled, pulling him out of his thoughts.  
  
"Hungry, pet?"  
  
Xander smiled (that shy, lopsided smile that Spike was kicking himself for finding adorable) and nodded.  
  
"You?"  
  
Spike thought for a moment. There were probably rats. There were *always* rats.  
  
"I hate rats."  
  
Xanders' confused "huh?" alerted Spike to the fact that he'd said that out loud.  
  
"I think I'll wait till we get to a century with blood banks. . . unless . . .?"  
  
Spike eyed Xanders' neck suggestively liking his lips. Xander gasped in mock fright and grabbed for his neck. It had been a serious question, but if the vampire wanted to avoid the issue, Xander wasn't going to push it, especially in light of the fact that there was nothing he could do about it right now. Well nothing that couldn't wait until there was no choice, anyway.  
  
Spike tried to banish the thoughts of Xanders' neck from his mind. Especially since the fact that they had taken on a direction that had nothing to do with food was making the task of walking decidedly harder. The vampires' attention was distracted as Xander stopped mid stride making the chubby man behind him trip over his own feet and cruse at Xander as he was forced to walk around him. Just then, he realized he'd been in the way, Xander called out a "sorry", the man just grunted and walked on. Spike had to resist the temptation to snap his neck.  
  
Xander looked up at Spike. He felt like such a klutz most of the time, he didn't mean to be.  
  
Spike smiled reassuringly, all he wanted to do was wrap him arms around Xander and not let anything hurt him again. Instead he settled for taking his hand and puling him out of the middle of the street, avoiding another man carrying a barrel.  
  
"Why'd you stop, pet?"  
  
Xander remembered to let go of Spikes' hand just in time to save his dignity. # Well not quite. That ship sailed two days ago, but it was a token effort. # Xander pointed to the bakery window, that currently held his attention.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two minutes later, they were walking down a considerably less peopled street, Xander happily munching away on a butted bread roll. Finishing it off, Xander turned to say something just in time to see Spike stop and change direction abruptly. He now stood facing the mouth of a dark alley, a few feet away from the slayerette, his form illuminated by the crescent moon, bathing half of him in silvery light and casting the rest to ominous shadow.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
When no reply was forthcoming, Xander tried again.  
  
"Buddy. . . ? Amigo. . . ? What's up?"  
  
Spike turned his head just slightly, a warning , or an acknowledgment, the lines between the two seemed to have blurred, just like the play of light and dark that covered everything now.  
  
"Stay here Xander."  
  
He had no intention of doing that of course. The mere use of his name alerted Xander to what his senses had screamed at him from the start. Danger. Taking a deep breath, the boy ventured in to the darkness, following a vampire. Following a friend. Following a feeling.  
  
  
  
@--------;---------;---------@  
  
"Spike, my sweet. . . I've been waiting."  
  
Spike listened. He couldn't have really heard that. No. She was just in his mind. Still, there were sounds of a struggle ahead, and he decided he should check it out. Despite the warning, he noted with some annoyance that the boy was right behind him. They walked in silence to the other end of the alley.  
  
The air was thick with mist and the vampire knew it would start to rain soon. It was easy to tell, because of the way the mist accumulated in to little droplet in her hair and made her skin clammy. The little girl in her arms shrieked in frustration at her inability to break out of the woman's iron grip but struggled harder.  
  
"Let her go!"  
  
Drussila lifted the child up and bared her fangs.  
  
"Now, now, dearie, you wouldn't want your precious angel to get hurt?" She said this looking at Spike, who felt like she was talking about something else entirely. Perhaps she was.  
  
"'Ello Dru."  
  
Princess. He used to call her that, but now he couldn't summon a single part of himself that wasn't repulsed by this creature. Spike was scared. Nothing ever made him truly scared, but he was at that moment. What now? Was he just supposed to say 'see you another time' and part company?  
  
Xander put aside everything else in his mind and let it focus solely on the situation. They traveled back in time, and now they were standing here talking to Drussilla, Spike's sire, and significant other for over a century, who had called him by name and was about to eat Cecily. Xander came to the conclusion that all this leads back to Spike. They were here for a reason. That reason was unclear, but he had to work with what they had. What now? They had choices. If this was the past, they *should* just stand back and not interfere, but since they were involved, that didn't seem like an option anymore. They could do what the slayerette in him was telling him, which was to try and kill the evil undead thing in front of him that was about to munch on a little child. That was the one thing he couldn't do however, no matter what happened. Xander knew the choice wasn't his, but he wouldn't allow Spike to harm his sire either never mind that he had no plan as of yet for how, exactly. Which left option three. A compromise of sorts. Save the child, and let Drussila go. Xander figured all of this out, along with the implications each choice would leave Spike with, in a matter of seconds. It was taking Spike considerably longer.  
  
"look precious"  
  
Drussila cooed to the struggling girl.  
  
"it's my Spike. . . and he's brought his heart with him. He won't let me play. . ."  
  
The vampiress pouted and dropped Cicily onto the ground. The girl got up and tried to run, but the strong hand around her neck stopped her.  
  
"It's alright Cecily, everything's going to be fine."  
  
Xanders' tone was designed to reassure the panicking child, but it had quite another effect on Spike.  
  
"Cecily?"  
  
He cast a glance at Xander, the expression on his face unreadable, but Xander could tell by the look in his eyes that he was praying that it wasn't her. And while he couldn't be sure, all this seemed less and less likely to be an coincidence, so Xander nodded an affirmative, and watched as the vampire tried to deal with the shock and compose himself enough to think.  
  
Drussila player with the little girls hair as she tried in vain to get away.  
  
"no need to be frightened little one. Mommy wont hurt you. . . you're very important deary, part of my Spikes test. . . He thinks he can save you."  
  
She cackled madly and turned her head towards Spike, he fractured sanity shining through a deceptively lucid gaze.  
  
"Help."  
  
It was less than whisper from the child that would turn in to the woman whose fate he was responsible for. Whose face would haunt him every day for the rest of his existence. Spike, William the Bloody realized he could undo all that right now. But the imploring brown eyes looking up at him stopped that thought before it had a chance to fully form. Those eyes reminded him of another pair of equally brown ones, that, were he to let her die, would never look at him as a friend again.  
  
"Let her go Dru."  
  
Spike reiterated Xanders' earlier statement and took a step towards her. He felt around for stake, but apparently was out of luck. Xander had the same idea, in case things got ugly, and grasping the piece of wood in his pocket firmly he also took a step forward.  
  
"But I'm hungry. . . who can I eat instead. . .?"  
  
Drussila's whiny tone carried across the night, the menacing threat clear in her gaze that was focused on Xander, specifically his neck.  
  
Before Spike had the chance to utter a 'NO!' she lunged for the slayerette, pinning him to the ground, but Xander was prepared. He pressed the stake in his hand to her chest and calmly told her to let him go. A silvery laugh rang out in the night.  
  
"I know you won't kill me, my sweet."  
  
The next thing that happened prompted Spike in to action. He was sure that Dru was done for, and was thankful that he wasn't the one who had to do it, but then Xander threw the stake aside and tried to struggle against her vampire strength instead. Spike was there in a flash and throwing Drussila off Xander, he picked up the stake and was about to ram it in to her heart. All this was happening with out too much cognitive thought on the part of Spike, that is until he felt a weight, (Xander , as it turned out) plough in to him from the side and knock him to the ground. Xander was laying on top of him, panting for breath.  
  
"Don't. Please."  
  
He whispered.  
  
Spike got to his feet. Xander crawled over to Cicily to comfort her and watched the emotions play out across Spikes' face. # oh God, he knew!! # Xander hadn't realized. He thought Spike was about to stake Drussila without knowing that he'd die as well. But he knew. And he was going to do it anyway? The slayerette watched, heart firmly lodged in his throat as the vampire, *his* vampire stood in front of his sire looking at the stake in his hand.  
  
"Choose dearie."  
  
Xander let out a breath he was holding as he saw Spike lower his arm, his fingers uncurled around the stake and it cluttered to the ground. Drussila whimpered. She looked like she didn't realize quite what just happened, or why.  
  
May be she didn't know. Not really.  
  
A shuffle of taffeta and an echo of foot steps was all that remained of her a second later but the sounds were erased as a flash of lightening split the sky followed by a clap of thunder. Cicily cried out and Xander tightened his arms around her shivering form and stood up. He was facing Spike, who, though looking right at him was clearly lost in thought. The boy and the vampire watched as a silvery raindrop hit the ground seemingly in slow motion. Followed by another, and another, and then time was back on track, and it was raining in earnest. It seemed a catharsis of sorts. Spike looked down at the stake on the ground, then back at Xander.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Xander shook his head, there was no need to apologize. # he's not # Xanders' sixth sense supplied helpfully. It occurred to Xander that Spike wasn't apologizing to him, after all, he was the one that practically begged him not to kill Dru, but he *was* sorry. The lost look in the vampire's eyes told Xander that he was about to explain his choice.  
  
"I-"  
  
"I know."  
  
Spike looked in to Xanders' eyes and felt a tear roll down his face. The rain made sure he was the only one who knew it was there. Did he really know? He didn't have to explain, or at least, they could talk about it later, and that was all Spike could ask for. Everything Xander had said and done a moment ago came back to him, and for once, he didn't feel alone. He wanted to hold on to this new feeling and thankfully it showed no sign of leaving. A reassuring smile lit up Xanders' face.  
  
"let's go."  
  
Spike nodded and followed, glad that Xander had followed him in to the alley. Why had he done it? For a vampire? For a friend? # For a feeling? #  
  
  
  
AN: Thank you for reading, come back tomorrow for the next installment of the fic that makes you wish you could travel back in time and tell your self not to read. . . :) Lami. xxx 


	7. Chapter IX

Chapter IX - I Think. (damn roman numerals, grrr) - Rain --------------  
  
A/N: Sorry about this. There is far too much sap. And I feel I should mention that I wrote this at work, and kept getting interrupted by people who thought that I should actually *work* while there, every five minutes. The nerve! But, I guess if you've read it this far, you wont quit now, right. Right? Please keep reading, it gets better, I swear! *Is dragged off kicking and screaming by people in white coats*  
  
---------------  
  
"No. Way."  
  
Xander's voice was stunningly loud, breaking the silence between them. Spike felt as if a weight had been lifted. Xander not talking, meant that Xander was thinking, and since the vampire couldn't tell what went on in his head it was a little frightening. After all, Xander had a lot to think about.  
  
Spike managed to pull himself together enough to drop off little Cecily, while Xander stood waiting near the gate, and then they walked back to the inn, both thoroughly soaked. Spike tried to start numerous conversations with his companion, but the second he opened his mouth the words that he carefully planned out beforehand were forgotten. so there was silence, except for the pouring rain, their footsteps, the creaking stairs, a key turning in the rusty lock, and now, Xander's voice, filled with disbelief.  
  
Spike watched Xanders' eyes follow the drops of water. Up, down, up, down, up. . The rain, having soaked through the thatched roof was now making its way through Xander's bed, and dripping on to the floor. The substantial puddle that had formed covered half the room, and needless to say, the mattress was soaked.  
  
Xander whimpered and sat on the edge of Spikes' bed. He looked at his hands, then at Spike. The vampire tried again to explain but like for the past half an hour, he couldn't even start.  
  
Walking over to his bed, he sat down at the opposite end. The silence had gone from uncomfortable to unbearable, they both felt it.  
  
"You can have my bed."  
  
Finally the silence was broken, and though Xander had been waiting for Spike to say what he really wanted to say. To try to explain. He was clearly avoiding the issue, so the slayerette decided to go along with it for now. He wanted to offer some comfort, but Spike had to want to talk about it. Xander knew he did, really, but some doubt stopped him from being the one to bring it up.  
  
"Where are you gonna sleep?"  
  
Spike thought of the floor, but there was the puddle.  
  
"I'm a *vampire* Xander, we sleep during the day."  
  
That came out harsher than he intended, but Spike was frustrated with himself, and didn't think.  
  
"Spike."  
  
That was it for his fragile self control.  
  
"WHAT?!! I couldn't do it, alright?! I wanted to, I was about to, but *you* were the one to stop me, so don't start regretting it now! God knows I don't! I don't want to kick off just because I deserve it, if I'm goin' to hell, I'd rather it be later than sooner! So, I guess I'm not all noble like you lot, WHY THE HELL DID YOU STOP ME??!"  
  
Spike looked down suddenly. Warm fingers wrapped around his hand, gentle and comforting.  
  
During his rant Xander just sat on the bed, watching him pace around the room, which brought him to stand in front of the boy screaming a question that Xander's own moral compass was struggling with. Yet he knew the answer. He knew more than that. He knew it was right.  
  
Spike was in front of him, breathing hard (quite unnecessary for vampire, but that just showed his emotional state) Xander wrapped Spikes' cold hand in his own and stood up slowly, watching Spike watch him.  
  
"I stopped you because I didn't want you to die either. That doesn't make me noble. It just makes me your friend. Spike you don't deserve to-"  
  
"I do, pet. . ."  
  
Spike looked in to Xanders eyes, as soon as he felt capable enough to do it with out breaking down completely. Wet hair was hanging in his eyes, warm shallow breaths moved past his lips, an anguished and wanting expression on his face.  
  
#Why does he have to care? He is so beautiful.#  
  
"But maybe I can start making up for it a little."  
  
A small smile pulled at the boys' lips, that soon turned in to a grin.  
  
"You already have. One of the slayerettes now, remember? Working for redemption.."  
  
"And free blood. . ."  
  
"Not to be confused with Angel."  
  
Spike groaned and rolled his eyes. Xander chuckled, and before he had a chance to think anything his arm was around the vampire's neck and he was pulling him closer for a brief hug. . . that didn't seem to be ending.  
  
The tension broke and the next thing Spike new was that Xanders' body was pressed up against him, arm around his neck, head on his shoulder, still holding his hand. It didn't make much sense, but what Xander had said earlier almost made him cry, so he was on an emotional high and nothing made any sense. His arm sneaked around Xanders' waist of it's own accord, and he sighed, as they stood like that for a moment. #What *am* I doing?# listing to that part of his brain, instead on the one screaming #No, good, stay!# Xander pulled away and awkwardly cleared his throat and looked at the floor which held unrivaled fascination all of a sudden.  
  
"Thanks luv. I needed that."  
  
Xander smiled and looked at Spike from under his hair. He realized he must have been blushing. He also realized that he was still holding Spike's hand. He let go and probably changed color.  
  
Spike smiled back. Holding Xander like that, even though the boy only intended it for comfort (the idea of comforting a 127 year old vampire could only originate in the mind of Xander Harris) he didn't want to let go. He had to of course, but as Xander stepped back Spike noticed he was shivering, and his lips had gone from their usual pink to a dark purple. Spike tried looking at something else.  
  
"Pet, you'd better get out of those clothes before you freeze to death. . ."  
  
Xander wholeheartedly agreed and looked wistfully at the bed, then at Spike. . .who just raised an eyebrow and continued to stand there. Xander crossed his arms over his chest and gave Spike a look. The vampire chuckled, and put his hands up, turning around.  
  
"You're such a girl, mate."  
  
Xander did his best girly voice and giggled.  
  
"Am not!!"  
  
while hopping up and down trying to get his wet trousers off. His boxers were soaked too, but he decided to hang on to those for the time being, and climbed under the covers after hanging his clothes on to the back of a chair to dry. "Ok, you can turn around now, I'm done."  
  
Xander yawned, as Spike felt around for his non existent cigarettes, swore under his non existent breath, and then took off his coat, the rest of his clothes were half dry for the most part.  
  
Xander saw the blonde shudder, half-heartedly # he must be tired as well # he though to himself, feeling guilty about the bed. After all, why exactly should he get to sleep in it?  
  
"Spike?"  
  
Before Xander could say anything else, Spike interrupted him.  
  
"I've been thinking 'bout what Dru said. About a test?"  
  
Xander nodded, his mind switching tracks.  
  
"Well, if we're 'ere 'cos 'o that, then how come we're still stuck? Shouldn't we've been zapped back by now? You know, mission accomplished?"  
  
Xander had thought about this, but if it was a test, then whoever planned it must have really put a lot of thought in to it. After all, they didn't get there through any magical means... or rather, not the kind that just happened for no reason, it was Willow. So presumably, the 'zapping back' part was going to be up to them.  
  
"It's not fair. . ."  
  
Xander mumbled under his breath, and when Spike inquired as to which particular thing he was referring to, the slayerette explained his whole theory. He wouldn't have done that for anyone else, unless he had to or he was sure. Neither of which happened very often. He was never very sure, and he almost never *had* to, as nobody seemed to trust him enough to depend on his theories that much. Except Spike. Xander was sure the vampire *trusted* him. He knew this because of the way Spike acted around him. It was different when everyone else was around. At first, he wondered why Spike would choose to trust him, he was more of a liability than an asset in a fight, but then he figured out it must have nothing to do with his combat skills. Spike trusted him for being Xander. And he didn't seem to trust anyone else, which made Xander feel special. # Sad though it may be, and I'm probably imagining things again. # But it felt good, and he didn't want to loose that.  
  
Meanwhile said vampire continued to be impressed with Xander's deductive reasoning, even if what he'd deduced wasn't good news at all.  
  
"So it's back to being rescued, is it?"  
  
Spike said after a little while.  
  
"Yeah. We can think of something else tomorrow."  
  
Xander yawned again and closed his eyes.  
  
After a few minutes, when Spike was sure Xander was asleep, he walked soundlessly across the wet floor and put out the candle on the night stand.  
  
"'night pet."  
  
He said quietly as he walked back to the chair passed the bed.  
  
"'pike?"  
  
Spike stopped in his tracks. He hadn't meant to wake the boy. He sat on the edge on the bed with a sigh.  
  
"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."  
  
He said sheepishly.  
  
"You didn't"  
  
Came the groggy reply. Xander seemed plenty awake now though, as he scooted to the far edge of the bed. He then industriously tugged the blanket from under Spike and moved one of the two pillows to the side of the bed.  
  
"Sleep here."  
  
Ok, that came out a little blunter than he'd intended, and the total humiliation helped to wake him up a little more. He glanced up at Spike and shaking off his deer-in-headlights look started to dig a hole.  
  
"The chair can't be that comfortable, besides we can fit right, we're both adults right, I mean you're over a hundred, so you definitely are, and I'm sure my bed will dry over night, it stopped raining, and anyway well be out of here by tomorrow, so-"  
  
Xander could just make out Spike's smile in the darkness. He realized he was babbling uncontrollably, but he just couldn't seem to stop. # Oh dear God I Sound like Willow #  
  
"Alright pet, you've 'ad me convinced for about a minute now."  
  
He chuckled good-naturedly, because he could see Xander a lot better than Xander could see him in the dark and the boy was obviously embarrassed about the whole situation, but probably felt guilty.  
  
"Sure pet? You're gonna be cold, but that shouldn't bother me. . ."  
  
Xander remembered that Spikes clothes were probably still semi wet.  
  
"It does though, right? I don't mind. Really. It's not as though-"  
  
Xander felt Spikes cool fingers press against his lips gently just in time to stop him from babbling again.  
  
"Shhh."  
  
It was all Xander could do to stay quite. His lips tingled pleasantly, and suddenly he was thanking the higher powers for the fact that his boxers were wet and cold. #no. no, no, no, NOT thinking about this. #  
  
Spike climbed under the blanket and shuddered at the temperature change. His arm brushed past Xander, there really wasn't that much space, and the boy yelped.  
  
"God, you're freezing!"  
  
Instead of backing away however, he felt Xander pull him closer to the middle of the bed and then curl around him.  
  
#Not thinking has its up side..# thought Xander, as he felt Spike's arm brush up against his side. He was so cold. Funny how you do things at night, that would seem impossible in the light of day. But then again: what was the big deal?  
  
"hummmm."  
  
Spike couldn't believe he just did that, but it felt so good. There was no way he was gonna be able to sleep, but he wouldn't give this up for the world. He knew Xander was half asleep, and his innate tendency was to help people, with nothing in his rational mind to stop him from doing what felt right to him lading to the current situation. Spike wondered if he was on any kind of moral ground, taking advantage of this.  
  
#If I move, I'm gonna wake him up.# Hello, moral ground.  
  
Xander's kindness and fragile nature just seemed conducive to evoking protective instincts in people. and a certain blond vampire. Maybe that carried over in to subconscious's, because the morning found Xander wrapped securely in Spikes arms, his head resting on the vampire's shoulder, breathing softly while being watched over by his guardian angel... or rather, his guardian demon.  
  
  
  
A/N: Special thanx to all who reviewed, esp. drc for the spelling correction, I owe you one! 


	8. Chapter X

AN:Um.. Hi :) Ducks in case people start throwing things. I know you lot must hate me for taking this long to update but. . . err (insert lame excuse here) So for this very good reason, I was unable to update my fic for so long, but I have now finished writing it, and just have to type what I've written so it shouldn't take too long. I'm really sorry about this, I hope it all makes sense when I post the rest, feel free to flame me for this chapter. *Sigh* // thoughts // Here goes. . .  
  
Chapter X - Let it snow. . .  
  
@-----;------------;-----@  
  
// Morning. Coming up to noon in fact. // the random thought popped out of nowhere waking up the vampire. His sixth sense could detect the position of the sun in the sky. Something seemed off about it today though, but his foggy mind decided to ignore it for the moment. Instead he focused on his surroundings, glad not to have to wake up to the feel of cold stone underneath him for once. No. Instead he was warm and comfortable, wrapped up in. . . Xander. // Xander??!! //  
  
The vampire just barley stopped himself form bolting out of the bed. Staying as still as possible he cracked an eye open:  
  
// Yes. Definitely. //  
  
He carefully moved the sleeping boy's arm from around his waist and scooted towards the edge of the bed, sliding out on to the floor.  
  
"Ahh!"  
  
Spike clamped a hand over his mouth. // Bugger! Forgot it was wet. // He got up, watching as Xander stirred, sighed softly and snuggled up to the pillow. Spike left the room and he made it half way to the kitchen before stopping in his tracks.  
  
// Hang about. . . what the bloody hell was that?! //  
  
All this time lusting after Xander , and when he finally gets a chance to be close to him, his first reaction is to run? Why? No! // Can I still go back. . .? // Spike sighed and continued on to the kitchen. He didn't understand what went on in his head sometimes. Nope. Not a clue.  
  
// Coward. //  
  
// Fag off! //  
  
His inner voice had a mind of its own though and kept insisting that the reason Spike was now watching eggs boil instead of being wrapped in Xanders' arms was because deep down he was terrified of what Xanders' reaction to that would be when he woke up. After all, seeping with the evil undead so they don't get cold makes a lot more sense the night before the morning after.  
  
"Will thare be anything else you be needin' master Wordsworth?"  
  
The Irish brogue of the maid dragged Spike out of his musings. He thanked the woman, assuring her that he didn't eat breakfast and heading back upstairs with a tray and two chips. One in his head and one on his shoulder. They had names. The first was a pain in the ass, the second - Xander.  
  
The warm, comfortable feeling fled as the obnoxious poking intensified.  
  
"Oi! Wake up, will ya?"  
  
"Mhummph."  
  
On the up side, according to his nose there was the promise of food.  
  
More poking.  
  
"Ok, ok, I'm up!"  
  
Xander said without opening his eyes. He let go of the pillow he was holding and stretched a little.  
  
// Just don't think about it. //  
  
Xanders' subconscious piped up.  
  
// Don't think about what?. . . Oh. //  
  
// I said *don't* think about it!! //  
  
It was too late, Xander could feel his face heat up, while he discreetly glanced at Spike.  
  
// ohmigod I slept with Spike!! //  
  
The vampire was looking at him expectantly, with mock annoyance but no sign of awkwardness. Once the slayerette finished searching the blondes' face he smiled, yawned and sat up on the bed.  
  
"Good mornin'."  
  
Spike smiled back (well, smirked really, but Xander could tell what he meant.) and nodded towards the tray set on the chair next to the bed.  
  
"Food!"  
  
With that the eager slayerette pulled back the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. . . only to yelp, shiver and climb back in. He hadn't realized how cold it was.  
  
Xander thought for a moment. He could just about reach the chair without getting up and pull it close enough to snatch the tray in to his lap. Spike rolled his eyes at these antics.  
  
"ugh, sorry! Do you want some?"  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow but couldn't help the smile the crept in to his voice.  
  
"Boiled eggs and bread? Cheers pet but it's all yours."  
  
Xander shrugged and tucked in. Spike really didn't feel like human food just then. It was an optional extra to be mixed with blood for variety with no nutritional value. Once Xander finished eating he eyed the bread knife in his hand contemplatively. His mind began to wonder. . .  
  
Spike looked over at him from his chair and had to do a double take.  
  
"Xander, don't."  
  
The piece of cutlery traded places in less than a second.  
  
"I wasn't going to!"  
  
Xander said defensively.  
  
". . .but"  
  
He continued hesitantly  
  
"if you don't eat sometime soon"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"You're starting to look paler than usual. You're not fine."  
  
Xanders' earnest pleading gaze made the vampire look down. He was still holding the knife, standing about as far away as he could get from Xander with it. He walked over carefully, with cautiously measured steps, and placed the knife back on the tray gingerly.  
  
The bed cracked as Spike sat down on the edge.  
  
"Th. . .Thanks."  
  
Spike wanted to say how much it meant to him, and all those other tings he shouldn't be feeling, but his ego stopped him.  
  
"I'll be ok for now, there's no need for that. Really."  
  
He smiled reassuringly, but Xander wasn't convinced.  
  
"Maybe later you could get yer hands on one 'a those chickens?"  
  
Xander chewed on his bottom lip.  
  
"What if we have to stay here longer?"  
  
Spike smiled. Just because someone cared and it was nice.  
  
Xander knew he didn't have the answers. He looked down. Then back up at Spike.  
  
"Stop smiling."  
  
// I know I'm pathetic // he wanted to add, but he didn't want to fish for lies.  
  
"Just. . ."  
  
Spike failed to come up with a feasible explanation for his good mood.  
  
". . . thanks pet."  
  
Xander relaxed a bit at that and Spike felt the need to reassure him.  
  
"Vampires can survive on animal blood pet."  
  
"For how long?"  
  
"'s long as it takes. My great poof of a sire 's been on a diet of pigs blood for a good long while, and he's still kickin'. Though, it's starting to show. . ."  
  
Spike added the last part with a wry smile.  
  
"You won't start to grow feathers, will you?"  
  
This made them both laugh. Making fun of Angel had always been a favorite pass time for them.  
  
Xanders thought's led him eventually to the need to get out of bed. His clothes were dry (or maybe just frozen, it was hard to tell) and after getting dressed he peeked out of the window. He turned his head back to face the semi-darkness in the room with a smile.  
  
"You should come and see this!"  
  
Spike just glared. He didn't want to spontaneously combust to look out of a window or get too close to Xander which would probably have the same effect. Spike tried not to watch him get dressed but that was near impossible, and Xander of course had no idea how good he looked.  
  
The boy pulled the 'curtain' back further still not letting any significant amount of light in to the room.  
  
"Just. . . trust me."  
  
Xander was surprised when, with just that Spike walked up and looked out of the window. He once again wondered what he'd done to earn the vampires' trust. Then again, he didn't think he could explain why he trusted him either, so they were even. So to speak.  
  
A grin pulled at Spikes' lips and his eyes lit up (in the metaphorical sense thankfully) the next thing Xander knew was that he was being pulled through the inn by a hyperactive vampire who didn't stop until they reached the outside door.  
  
Spike stepped through cautiously. He took a few more steps and then stopped, looking up with his eyes closed and his mouth open for a few seconds. Xander just watched from the doorway. It was very dark considering it was the middle of the day. That didn't matter of course since all you could see past arms length was sheets of white snow. The slayerette could barely make out Spikes black-clad form through the softly falling flakes. He wondered why being able to go outside during the day made the vamp so happy. // maybe you just miss it. // he told Spike in his head.  
  
Xander smiled, Spike was frolicking.// There goes one weird vampire. . . //  
  
"Get out here whelp, this is bloody fantastic!"  
  
Xander shrugged and followed Spike in to the courtyard which, right then looked white, endless and perfect.  
  
@~~~;~~~~;~~~~@  
  
"Such a cruel metaphor, sister dear. Will he still be as willing when the snow melts?"  
  
"This one's heart is both his strength and weakness. He will follow it wherever it leads."  
  
Both of the higher beings knew that Xanders' heart no longer belonged to him, but the final test remained. Would their worrier protect his gift, his heart, when the time came?  
  
@~~~;~~~~;~~~~@  
  
The day passed quickly in this manner, the two were finally enjoying their trip to the past. It didn't matter that they didn't know how to get back, or what they would do in the mean time. What mattered was that Spike's snowball missed by miles, and how funny Xander looked trying to catch a chicken before they got caught by the maid.  
  
Later, the pair set off towards the square. Dusk had snuk up on the day but the unsuspecting snow flakes still twirled happily in the twilight. It was so peaceful. The post card scene, compete with children playing in the snow unfolded in the town square.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm ready now, Ethan."  
  
"Better get the words right, sweetheart . ."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Spike and Xander walked unhurriedly through the throng of people still out. A cart screeched past, the horses hoofs clapping softly.  
  
"This is so neat!"  
  
Xanders comment cut through the hallmark moment.  
  
"What is?"  
  
Spike knew what Xander probably meant, but it seemed like the thing to say.  
  
"Well, this!"  
  
Xander gestured as much as he could at the scene with out removing his hands from his pockets.  
  
"How many other people can say that they've seen the 18th century?"  
  
Spike smiled and gave Xander a questioning look.  
  
"Oh, yeah, you're a regular here. Still, I was thinking, wouldn't it be neat if Will could do this in a non-accidental capacity? We could start a travel agency!"  
  
Xanders enthusiasm was infectious, but there was one problem with the idea that neither wanted to think about. First of all most tourists want to go home at some point. And second, Willow may not have been the one who sent them there at all.  
  
"Great idea pet, but I think Elvis would be swamped. 'sides, I don't think Red would go along with it."  
  
Spike's distracted tone sent alarm bells ringing in Xanders head. The vamp was thinking about something and Xander wanted to know what it was.  
  
"Yeah, burst my bubble why don't you. I had this all planned out!"  
  
Spike chuckled at that.  
  
//he's not gonna tell me?// Xander tried to think of a way to get Spike to talk to him. He wasn't even that curious, but it was clearly bothering the vampire. // Is it about me? Does he ever think about me? Don't be stupid! Why would Spike think about you?? Do you want him to think about you? No. No I don't. Why am I thinking about Spike thinking about me? What's wrong with me?!! // Xanders thoughts had turned to the vampire more and more frequently, he didn't understand the feelings that came with them, mostly he was just confused as to why he was doing it to himself, and tried not to dwell on it. But sometimes, it was hard to shut his thoughts up, like now.  
  
Xander stopped, sighed in exasperation and squeezed his eyes shut tight.  
  
"You alright luv?"  
  
Xander couldn't help but smile at his stupid thoughts and nodded to the now confused Spike resuming his leisurely pace.  
  
"So...what was that then? sumthing on yer mind?"  
  
Apparently Spike preferred the direct approach.  
  
"I'll tell you if you tell me first."  
  
Xander said quickly before he could loose his nerve. He didn't know why he was nervous, but it seemed like he was presuming a lot by asking it.  
  
For a moment Spike looked like he was gonna ask Xander what he meant, but then he sighed, deciding there was no point in playing dumb.  
  
// Perceptive little bugger, innhe? // he thought affectionately.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
That was all that was said for a moment as they walked on in silence Xander waiting for Spike to continue.  
  
". . .provided I'm right about assuming this is some sort of test the powers dreamt up for me, what have you got to do with anything?"  
  
"umm...moral support?"  
  
Xander ventured. Spike glanced over at him briefly with a smirk that was trying to be a shy smile.  
  
"I'm glad you're here pet."  
  
Xander blushed noticeably, and tried to say something but nothing sprang to mind except for more of those annoying 'Spike thoughts' he didn't understand. (instead of a corner they now had a mansion) He cleared his throat after a while.  
  
"Well, maybe there's something else we should do.. to get out of here that is. yeah. um, ya think...?"  
  
// You made him nervous. He's so sweet when he's nervous... argh! Why can't I be in love with anyone else?? Even the *slayer* would be better than this...say something you git!// "yeah. . ."  
  
// Another shining example of your conversational skills I see.. // Spike told his inner self to bugger off, and focused on the spot straight ahead. Something wasn't right.  
  
Moments later everyone else present followed his example.  
  
Suddenly the winds picked up and sound like thunder echoed through the square. Then, in a flash of light, a vortex appeared in front of Xander and started to grow to a height of about six feet. Needless to say, the proceedings drew the attention of awe struck villagers, who looked on as what could best be described as a slow motion hurricane swirled slowly in tints of purple and red light.  
  
What's worse it was moving slowly towards them.  
  
"Spike? What the hell is that?"  
  
The vampire squinted at it and decided that standing there wasn't doing them any good so he took a step towards the swirling vortex.  
  
"Looks like our ride home."  
  
He held a hand out to holt Xanders progress giving him a look that clearly meant 'stay here'.  
  
The bad feeling Xander had only intensified as Spike got closer to it, and then it danced around and sang 'I told you so!' because the second the vampire touched the swirling purple energy there was a loud crack and then the vampire found himself sailing through the air in to the crowd that had gathered.  
  
"Spike!!"  
  
Xander turned to check on him, when he heard it. A voice, coming from the vortex.  
  
~ Xander?! Is that you? Can you hear me??  
  
He was torn. That was Willow's voice coming from that thing, so it must be the way home. On the other hand, Spike might be hurt. Xander turned and ran back to the stunned crowd with a parting shout of 'I'll be right back' to the Willow-vortex.  
  
Spike lay panting in the snow, some people gathering around him asking if he was hurt. Was he hurt? no, just a little tingly. He sat up. His vision swam then cleared just in time to spot Xander making his way across the square towards him, and the vortex making it's way just as insistently after Xander. He was about to shout out a warning, but the boy seemed to sense the thing behind him, and turning around called out to Willow.  
  
And this was the scene that greeted Cilia Smith as she rounded a corner. A man standing in the middle of the town square, chanting trees at a strange apparition.  
  
"WITCH!!!"  
  
TBC. . . 


	9. Chapter XI

Chapter XI - Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me. . .  
  
@---------;-----------;---------@  
  
"WITCH!"  
  
Xanders' first thought was // where? //. Then the reality of the situation began to dawn.  
  
The crowd of people started to advance on him, the word spreading like wildfire.  
  
'Witch!, he's a witch!' they chanted with a maniacal glee moving ever closer.  
  
~ Xander! Something's wrong. Is Spike ok?! We. . . we  
  
Another voice joined Willows, one Xander couldn't recognize asking her if she was alright.  
  
~ I. . . ah, I can't keep it open much longer!  
  
Xander reached for the swirling energy not a foot away from him. He could almost make out the faint form of his friend through the swirling colors. His fingers were about to brush the crackling portal when suddenly, it vanished just as fast as it appeared. No sound. No trace of it in fact ever having been there. Non that is except for the angry mob of people marching on bravely now.  
  
"That man!"  
  
A frantic finger pointed at Spike as he climbed to his feet. The screech attracted the attention of the crowd towards the vampire.  
  
Both Xander and Spike realized where this was going. The mob surrounded Xander and as Spike got accused of being 'in league with the witch' he was forced in to the melee.  
  
"No."  
  
Every one listened. Their fear made them pay attention to the 'witch' who was only now making some move to defend himself. The silence didn't last long as Xanders' next syllables were uttered.  
  
"I don't know that man!"  
  
The people gathered around them didn't know what to make of this. Among them was the daughter of the head of the village. Mary Anne Wilson refused to believe what was so plainly the truth. Still, she knew that the 'witch' was lying. They did know each other.  
  
There was nothing to be done. Unless. . .  
  
"You all saw it!! That. . . that thing *hurt* him!"  
  
Mary Anne pointed a gloved finger at Spike.  
  
"How could he be a witch?!"  
  
She smiled triumphantly when the mob seemed to agree with her logic, though she herself knew that it wasn't as simple. But she'd made her choice.  
  
Xanders treacle eyes met Spikes blue ones. And then, there was no more time. Hands grabbed at Xander, and he turned away breaking the eye contact. He felt like his whole world crashed around him and the only thing he had left to hold on to were those blue eyes. Blue, but only if you didn't make an effort to look too closely.  
  
The vampire fought to control the demon inside of him. He melted in to the shadows as the mob dragged off Xander, after some resourceful soul with enough fore sight to bring a two by four knocked him out.'  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Willow!"  
  
"I'm ok Buffy."  
  
That wasn't true. The witch felt like she'd just been run over by a truck. It hadn't worked.  
  
// it, it didn't work! Ethan. . .//  
  
"Ethan!!"  
  
Buffy and Tera held her down in the chair as Willow struggled to get up. She gave up, loosing her strength finally.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Ethan looked as surprised as an of them, to his credit. None of them made a move to interrogate him about it except for Willow. She wouldn't have done so either if she'd been more aware of her surroundings. Especially of Giles. He would have been first to go through with some of his threats if he suspected that Ethan had done something to disrupt the spell on purpose. But he made no move, and he knew the other man.  
  
"I don't know, sweetheart. Ripp?"  
  
Giles glanced up almost slipping back in to his alter ego.  
  
"It. . . it felt too strong somehow."  
  
Ethan nodded in agreement, though the non-practicing members of the group had no idea what they were agreeing about.  
  
Giles had to explain that they had been working on the assumption that Xander and Spike were roughly two hundred years in the past. There was room for error: a few years either way wouldn't hurt. But it appeared as though the vortex was too strong, the excess energy stopping anything (or anyone, more specifically, Spike) that tried to break through.  
  
"I got it wrong didn't I? The date? It's. . .it's. . ."  
  
"Shhhh."  
  
Tera put a comforting arm around Willows shoulders. They would try again tomorrow.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander faded in and out of consciousness. He didn't know where he was. He knew certain things though. He was cold and his head hurt a lot if he tried to move. His body felt numb. He was on the floor. The damp was soaking in to his clothes, he could hear water drip somewhere in the distance.  
  
// it'll be alright, pet. //  
  
He knew he was only pretending Spike was there, but thinking it made him feel a little better. He didn't know what happened to Spike after he was dragged off. He remembered waking up in a dingy little room, men who had brought him there saying something he couldn't understand. He must have made some kind of noise because they turned to him and proceeded to beat and kick him until he apparently passed out. The room, cage, more like. . . evidently he was still there. He forced his eyes open. Iron bars made up one wall of his prison casting shadows across the floor. All he could see past the bars was a wall, but light must have been coming from somewhere. Xander made an attempt to curl in to a ball and closed his eyes. He felt so helpless. Helpless and scared.  
  
The slayerette let his mind wonder, fearing he'd go insane if he concentrated on the here and now. There was nothing he could do after all. // it'll be alright luv, Spike's here, you're safe now. //  
  
Xander noticed that Spike had been referring to him as 'pet' or 'luv' for the duration of their trip, having switched from the usual 'whelp' or 'mate' he used when they were home. Spike didn't even know he was doing it, did he? // I do have a name. . . // he though with indignation, despite the fact that he actually liked the new replacements for it. If felt like. . . // whoa, wait just a second, I'm so not going there. Again. // He could of course ask Spike about it, but then he'd just get a 'What of it?' or the vampire would find a way to turn the tables on him with 'If you don't like it I can stop. . .' he could practically see those blue eyes sparkling with smug amusement. Great. He knew the vamp well enough to know what the answer was to a question he hadn't asked yet. // STOP IMAGINING THINGS, BOY! // said his fathers' voice in his mind. Well maybe not the answer. No. Spike would very rarely actually answer a question, and if he did Xander was lost. Because for every one of Spikes answers Xander got stuck with ten new questions.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"father! In this day and age, you cannot simply hang a man!"  
  
"He is *not* a *man* !"  
  
Magistrate Patrick Stewart Wilson was livid to the point of raising his voice. He rarely did that, and his daughter Mary Anne wisely left their argument at that as she quit the room.  
  
The man sighed. He did not have a choice, there would have to be a trial. The appropriate authorities would have to be notified, and before long his town would descend in to chaos! What was the life of one 'man' compared to a full scale witch hunt? Having lived through one as a young man he did not care to repeat the experience. But the trial would bring panic and fear, and was quite unnecessary since the verdict seemed to be carved in stone the moment someone shouted 'witch!'.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Spike walked around the building soundlessly twice before climbing in through the open window on the second floor. It was one of the few buildings in town made of stone, bearing the inscription 'yea olde towne hall' above the door. He'd made his way there as soon as the evening provided enough cover, but was unable to do anything but wait until the crowd started to dissipate. Part of him was paralyzed with fear. Worried over what was happening to Xander. Dreading the possibility that he may be hurt or worse. . . but that part was not in any way involved right now. Right now the part that was a predator, creature of the night perfectly in tune with his surroundings was in charge. The other part of him gave him purpose, nothing more. Like hunger would lend itself as an advantage instead of a disability during a hunt. Nobody noticed that shadow moving swiftly through corridors and down stairs to the basement. Once there, Spike let his attention focus on picking the lock of the heavy oak door, which took him less than a minute to break open. a flight of stairs, and another lock later he came face to face with the final obstacle: the bars of Xanders cell. This lock proved no more of a challenge than the rest and the seemingly nightmarish effort came to an end. That's all it had been. A nightmare. Spike used the demon part of him to get to where he was now. It felt so different. He used to be at one with the demon, but now in was no more a part of him than his coat.  
  
The vampire crouched on the floor next to Xanders curled up body and brushed his fingers over the boys face tenderly.  
  
"It'll be alright luv, Spike's here, you're safe now."  
  
Spike cradled Xander in his arms and just sat there waiting for him to come around a bit more. They had a little time. Nobody was allowed near the cell just in case the 'witch' could control their minds somehow. Spike had picked that up from pieces of conversation he'd overheard while breaking in.  
  
"mhhh. Spike?"  
  
"right here, pet."  
  
Xander smiled. He wasn't imagining it this time. For a panicked second he thought that they'd gotten the vampire too, but then he saw that the cell door was ajar.  
  
"got a plan for getting out?"  
  
"wot, something other than run like hell?"  
  
Xander returned Spike's smile and got to his feet with a little help from the vampire.  
  
"Maybe I should just carry you. . ."  
  
Spike said more to himself than to Xander.  
  
"Hey! I can still walk."  
  
Xander whispered indignantly, his heart racing.  
  
"yeah, and we all remember what happened the last time you said that."  
  
Xander glared but had to agree that he wasn't feeling all that up to it.  
  
"Just. . . help me?"  
  
Without further protest Spike wrapped his arm around Xanders' shoulders, supporting him as they made their way to the stairs. Spike listened carefully for a minute, and once the coast was clear they climbed the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible. Everything was still in the darkness of the hallway and Xander made to continue but Spike stopped him. He felt the vampires lips brush against his ear as he whispered a 'shhh'. Xander couldn't suppress a shudder, and being pressed up against the vampire he was sure he felt it too, but hopefully Spike would write it off as a symptom of the cold. After all, if that was good enough for Xander. . .  
  
Spike started moving once more, another flight of stairs, and a hallway, Xander could barley see anything. He could make out a door ahead of them. The flickering light of a candle struggling through the gaps in the wood. Spike knew that to be the kitchen. The main door would be guarded, but they could with any luck get out the back way without anyone noticing.  
  
"pet? You still with me?"  
  
Xander was starting to look pale as Spike set him down on a bench and tried to will the lock open.  
  
"yeah. . ."  
  
Xander paused for a moment noting that Spike seemed to have jimmied the door and then turned just in time to catch the other door open.  
  
"I'm not the only one too."  
  
Finally the door gave and several things happened at once. Xanders' familiar weight settled on his arm, the hinge on the door behind them creaked and then a deafening shriek rang through the air along with the sound of cutlery crashing to the floor. Spike turned to see a woman clutch at her hair with one had and point at him with the other.  
  
// oh, this is not good. // was the unanimous thought of everyone present.  
  
Spike realized that he was still in game face and the woman screamed again, this time to the background of running footsteps.  
  
"demon! Demon!! DEMON!!"  
  
The sounds only increased in volume, and followed the direction of the two figures retreating in to the darkness. Soon torches were lit and the witch hunt began in earnest. By the time the angry mob got organized Xander and Spike had made it to the edge of the woods. The sound of their pursuers spurred them on as they made their way back the way they came.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike decided that they should take a break. Not only was the sun rising above the tree tops, but he could tell that Xander was about to drop. After all the adrenaline was wearing off, even though the boy was almost enthusiastic enough to make up for that. They were further up river than before. Spike sat Xander down on a rock and shrugging out of his duster took off his shirt and tore it in to several strips. He used the materiel to clean the cut on Xanders fore head. The exhausted slayerette winced in pain and Spike bit his lip. Rolling up Xanders' sleeve he cleaned and wrapped the gash on Xanders' arm. This time the boy noticed the fact that Spike was in pain. Oh god, he didn't think! Flinching away he jarred his arm and caused it to start bleeding again.  
  
"Spike! The chip. . ."  
  
"I know. Hold still, Xander."  
  
Xander did as told trying to convince himself that what Spike was doing didn't hurt. A minute later the vampire was done.  
  
"Thanks. Spike I. . ."  
  
He couldn't think of a way to finish that without it sounding like an insult.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Spike could tell what the boy was trying not to say.  
  
"What, didn't think I had it in me, pet?"  
  
Could vampires read minds? Dracula could. Now there was a horrifying thought. For all the wrong reasons.  
  
"No. Well, I knew you were capable of caring for other people. Well not people, but you know."  
  
Xander was babbling again. He sighed in exasperation. All he wanted to do was thank him and he couldn't even get that right.  
  
"You hate me. . ."  
  
"I don't hate you."  
  
Spike said without thinking as was so often the case, and found himself faced with a pair of wide cola colored eyes looking at him with amazement and doubt. Mostly doubt. And something else. He didn't care to speculate on what that was.  
  
"God, but you are annoying!"  
  
"I'm annoying?!"  
  
"Glad to hear you admit it!"  
  
"I may be annoying but I can still stake you deadboy! we are in a forest."  
  
"You're less annoying when you don't talk."  
  
"I'll stop talking if you do!"  
  
"Deal!"  
  
With that the conversation ended for the night, but then, who said you need to talk to keep entertained?  
  
Sighing, Spike got up and getting Xander to his feet also, led them to the shelter of a cave. Finding a flat surface he laid out his long suffering duster on the floor and tried to get comfortable on one side of it while Xander occupied the other. Laying on his back, he listened to the brunette toss and turn.  
  
Xander tried heard to get conformable. So far it wasn't working. This was ridiculous. They were both freezing and yet here he was avoiding crossing the invisible line down the middle of Spikes' coat. It wasn't even as if they hadn't slept together before. Xander really hadn't meant to snap at Spike earlier. But he didn't know how else to deal with the situation. Spike risked his own life to rescue him from those psychos, and then took care of his cut even though it hurt him. . . . every time he tried to figure it out, his thoughts took him to places he didn't want to be. It was wrong! In soo many ways. For lack of anything better to do though his mind started to wonder. The blonde menace had been acting kind of strange lately. Ever since he started to share living space with the vamp. Over all, he just acted like Spike, but that didn't mesh well with his supposed evilness. After all, Xander did owe his life to the vampire. // Arrgh! Stop thinking! Right now! // Frustrated, Xander rolled over a little too fast. Straight in to Spike. His weight was braced on his hand resting on the vampires' chest, and the look on his face was reminiscent of a deer caught in headlights.  
  
The two found themselves staring in to each others eyes. Xanders' heart rate and breathing seemed to be heaving a race, and he unconsciously liked his lips. The vampire couldn't look away, there was a good chance he was dreaming this. The boy didn't really feel the same way about him, did he.? // No. he doesn't love you. You're just here. //  
  
Xander blushed as he realized what he wanted most at the moment. // But I'm *not* gay! // he tried to reason.  
  
Spike braced himself on his elbow and slowly, leant forward and brushed his lips over Xanders' in a gentle kiss. When he didn't immediately pull away, the vampire decided that he was definitely dreaming and with that in mind, traced Xanders' full bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. He could swear that his heart started to beat again when Xander opened his mouth in invitation. He was kissing him back! Xander moaned as he felt Spike's tongue brush against his own. Oh God! This was really happening! Spike kissed him!  
  
// don't stop!! //  
  
But they had. And now Xander was forgetting to breathe as he looked at Spike. The vampire mirrored his look of amazement for a moment, then, he lay back down and placing his hand on Xanders' back, gently pulled him down as well. The brunette was still in shock and lay his head on Spikes' shoulder, his thoughts fighting for attention in his head.  
  
". . ."  
  
"shhh."  
  
Spike brushed his lips over Xanders' temple and if he was about to say something he didn't know what. There was too much. And this was good. Each promised himself to think about it tomorrow but, despite everything, decided that they would rather be here that anywhere else. Angry mob and all.  
  
For the first time since Xander could remember he felt safe. Everything could wait till later. He felt Spike pull the edge of the duster over them and fell asleep soothed by the rhythmic motion of Spikes' hand on the small of his back.  
  
TBC. . . 


	10. Chapter XII

Chapter XII - . . .Kill me.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
The murky afternoon that had allowed only a stray ray of sunlight to grace the day had now turned pitch black. Having slept through the evening, the time lost pair in the cave awoke simply because it was freezing cold.  
  
Spike had in fact been awake for quite some time before he felt Xander stir, and unintentionally made a big mistake.  
  
He pretended to be asleep.  
  
Once again, his first instinct had been to get away from the warm body lying next to him, but he curbed that, wanting to know what Xanders' reaction to waking up in the arms of a vampire would be. That curiosity cost him dearly. The vampire had forgotten about Xanders uncanny ability to sense when he was awake and the boys' tendency to jump to self depreciating conclusions.  
  
~~~~~  
  
After a panicked moment of not knowing where he was or who the pair of strong arms he was wrapped in belonged to Xander woke up. Memory came crashing back not unlike a tidal wave and the strangeness of the situation was only increased by the fact that Spike was pretending to be asleep. // why?? // The part of last night that Xanders' conscious mind was carefully avoiding finally sprang to attention. *The kiss.* Suddenly Spikes' reason for faking sleep was all too clear to Xander. // He doesn't want to face this.. can't blame him. Who would? // Suddenly the slayerette felt like crying, without, for once, stopping to analyze how very un-Spike-like it was to avoid anything.  
  
"I know you're awake."  
  
The tone of voice snapped Spike out his musings. Outright hostility was not what he was expecting.  
  
"Good morning sunshine."  
  
Spike said masking his surprise with sarcasm, much like Xander, who was hiding behind the hostility.  
  
// what do I do now. . .?// Spike didn't know what to think when Xander wordlessly rolled out of 'bed' and made his way to the stream to splash some water on his face. The vampire just watched him. Fading light of dusk clung to pale skin and accumulated in droplets of water. An icy stare pierced the equally icy air separating Spike and Xander and once their eyes met the vampire was compelled to say something. He had done something wrong. // what?//  
  
"About last night. . ."  
  
//is it that I kissed him?//  
  
"forget it."  
  
//might as well make it easy for him//  
  
"it?"  
  
//but he kissed me back!//  
  
"look, I can see that you don't wanna talk about *it* , so we don't have to bring *it* up ever again, that's what you want?"  
  
//smug bastard, what did he think I meant?!//  
  
"what about what you want? Change your mind pretty fast don't you?"  
  
// Idiot. Of course he doesn't feel anything for you. You were just there!//  
  
"Since when do you care about what I want? I can't believe I was stupid enough to trust you!"  
  
// . . .with my feelings.//  
  
"Funny, I can!"  
  
Spike saw Xander flinch a little at this comment, and realized that the 'hurt them before they hurt you' may not be the best approach to the situation. He wiped the smirk off his face a little too late though. The whole situation left the distinct impression of heaving started on the wrong foot. Now it was heading to hell and there was nothing that could stop it. // Well, shit!//  
  
"Yes, I imagine it is funny."  
  
Xanders voice was surprisingly calm, and before Spike got a chance to interrupt he went on.  
  
"I hope you enjoyed your little game, Spike! And here I thought that all that was behind you! Gullible little Xander, you had to make me feel something for you?! What, playing on my insecurities wasn't enough? No, you made me believe you had a heart, you bastard! All things considered it wasn't all that hard now was it. . ."  
  
The last sentence was a whispered confession, as opposed to the rest of Xanders' outburst which varied in pitch and tone but not volume. All of it had been ripped from his soul at a scream.  
  
Spike tried to catch up to the meaning of the words. If that was how Xander felt then everything should be alright. But it wasn't. Spike couldn't figure out where and why the situation had taken the wrong turn. // Could we start again please? //  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Somewhere in the void between realities a single syllable graced the silence. 'No'.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Spike reached out to put a hand on Xanders shoulder, he had to slow this down, it was just a misunderstanding.  
  
"Don't touch me!!"  
  
Suddenly Xander saw the vampires gaze drift over his shoulder and focus on something behind him, squinting. Then he whispered something under his breath.  
  
"Bugger."  
  
// Not now!!//  
  
Spikes' highly attuned senses had been unfocused enough to miss the advancing armada of torch wielding villagers through the forest towards them. He vamped out at the unfairness of it all, nothing that was happening made any sense. Xander glanced around and then looked back at Spike. Shouts of 'There they are!!' and 'The demon is with him!' tore through the fragile silence. It was like the world was once again in real-time for both of them. Xander felt like giving up. Spike searched his eyes desperately for a moment, then, deciding it could wait grabbed Xanders arm and made for the trees.  
  
"Run!!"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Back at the Magic Box things were going according to plan. Everything needed for the spell was once again in place along with the tangible hope that it would work this time handing in the air. Willow began to chant.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Branches grabbed at his clothes, undergrowth tangled his legs, and something sharp and pointy pierced his heart. Xander was having a bad day. He knew he had to keep moving, but the non metaphorical obstacles proved to be too much and he felt himself trip over something. A moment of freefall followed by a sharp pain. Trying to get up as quickly as possible Xander realized he couldn't run anymore. He realized this and yet found himself grabbing on to the undergrowth scrambling to his feet, falling again. . . there was something wrong with his ankle.  
  
Finally he just lay on the soft moss panting, and thoughts of how this was like a scene out of a B rate horror flick raced through his mind. He wondered if he should scream. ~~~~~  
  
They were getting closer, Spike could hear the clumsy humans crash through the forest, while he himself moved more swiftly slipping through the trees like a shadow.  
  
// if it weren't for the whelp I'd 'a lost 'em by now. . . //  
  
His metaphorical breath caught at the thought, as, incidentally that precise second the vampire heard Xander trip and fall.  
  
// God, I didn't mean it, please, please be ok//  
  
Spike had been tracking the footsteps close behind him the whole time, and then they got separated. Xander went out to take the clearer path along the river bank, and ended up having to loop back in to the forest when he encountered some boulders he couldn't easily climb over. He was a ways behind Spike at that point, so the vampire slowed his pace. Realizing Xander didn't get up, Spike doubled back towards the oncoming throng of murderous villagers.  
  
Xanders breath was coming in short shallow gasps. He scooted back against a tree in a desperate attempt to hide, but there was no chance of going unnoticed. He closed his eyes for a second in concentration, and when he opened them again he could see a figure crash through the undergrowth and land in a heap next to him.  
  
"Spike!!"  
  
The vampire crouched in front of Xander running his hands over the boy in a frenzied attempt to make sure he wasn't badly hurt.  
  
"Luv, we have to go, we have to go, get up!"  
  
So fast, everything was happening so fast! He heard Spikes' desperate voice whisper to him that they had to move.  
  
"Get out of here! They'll kill you, go!"  
  
Xander didn't bother to whisper, he could see very well what was going on behind the vampire and the advancing mob had already spotted them.  
  
"Not without you, I'm not going anywhere. Come on, pet please, try!"  
  
Xander was dragged to his feet, but both could tell that if Spike let go there would be nothing supporting Xander except for the tree behind him, and it seemed reluctant to move so Xander was stuck. Their eyes met for a brief second and time stilled. The muffled cries were mere echoes now, the flickering lights of torches fading in and out of the trees. Xanders' heart beat seemed unnaturally loud and he couldn't catch his breath anymore. He felt like some one dropped a ton of bricks on his chest and could do nothing more than mouth 'Go!'.  
  
Spike only stared at him trying to comprehend, an emotion flickered in his eyes for a moment, a memory of a time and a place different yet so like now, a time when he would have given up his unlife without question, for his love, that had been Prague, when he and Drusilla were attacked by an angry mob. Luck and his skill had saved both of them , but he knew there were no such chances now. And yet, he didn't care! Suddenly it seemed almost amusing that Xander thought he would leave him there and run! He looked at the boy fondly letting a small smile tug at his lips, before turning away and placing himself between Xander and certain death.  
  
// He's not going anywhere is he. . . . don't, please, not for me! //  
  
Xander realized what was going on and with that time returned to normal, and he wanted to scream and scream until he woke up from the nightmare. Spike turned, slipping in to game face, and stood in a fighting stance a meter in front of him. And then they were out of time.  
  
An arm raised and drawn back, the fire of the torch it held burning almost as brightly as the hate in the mans' eyes. The projectile spun through the air, true to its aim.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"No hope, yet he stays, protecting his heart, they are bound together now by the choice he makes. You were right sister."  
  
Something like pride shone in the guardians eyes as she witnessed the vampire shed his demon, his very nature for the one he loved.  
  
"He is one of us now."  
  
She whispered surprising her sibling with the uncharacteristic show of kinship with the mortals.  
  
"Well done in deed! Now all we have to look forward to is his ugly and agonizing death."  
  
This was said with a reluctant smile, he knew after all that his sister had some plan to return the pair to where they belong before any harm came to them, but she was cutting it close!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The torch flew through the air and the only thing Spike had time to do was realize that it was going to hit him. To his surprise, it never did!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The aura of magic shimmered more brightly in the sacred circle and then flared to spectacular intensity. Willow's chanting was joined by another voice. If it could be called that: it was powerful, elemental like the sound of a waterfall, ancient and ethereal.  
  
The vortex appeared, filling the room with noise, everything was momentarily reduced to chaos. It ended suddenly making the room seem too still for a moment.  
  
"Xander!! Spike, thank god, it worked this time!!"  
  
Spike closed his eyes for an instant. They were safe. It was over. He didn't have to turn around to know that Xander was ok, he could hear the strong heart beat and uneven breathing coming from the boy who had now collapsed to the floor.  
  
Willow could barely stand. She was next to Xander on the floor in seconds and then, both him and Spike were surrounded by a flood of questions. 'Are you alright?' 'What happened?' 'Where were you?' 'I'm so glad you're back!' 'Xander, are you hurt?' 'Angel, call an ambulance!'  
  
//Angel? So, my great poof of a sire is here. Just what I need.//  
  
Spike wasn't dreading his sires presence for the usual reasons. Or perhaps they were the usual reasons: Angel could always figure out what his chlide was feeling. Something Spike wasn't eager to share with anyone until he figured out what to do with it back in the real world. To say he was overwhelmed would be an understatement. In fact he was barely holding it together, thankfully most of the scoobies were clustered around Xander.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Are you hurt?" Xander made no move to get up, he hadn't been able to get a word in since he somehow landed on the floor of the magic box and was surrounded by all his friends.  
  
Willow saw a strange look of horror come over his features for a moment that melted in to panic as he braced himself on his elbows and his eyes searched the throng of people in the room. Taking a shuddering breath as his gaze found whatever he'd been looking for he relaxed and looked at the young witch once more.  
  
"I'm fine Wills. Really,"  
  
He didn't get to finish the thought as he was enveloped in a desperate hug. He felt so weak, like his limbs were filled with lead and he could barley move them to return the embrace. He was vaguely aware of Buffy hugging him too, Giles stuttering something and Tara's comforting touch on his arm. Then the sound of sirens somewhere far away, and then, nothing.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"He passed out, we think he fell down the stairs. . ."  
  
"Move please, make some room. . ."  
  
Buffy watched as Xander was strapped to a gurney and wheeled outside in to an ambulance. There was room for one more and she decided to go with him. Willow protested but Giles and Tara insisted that she was not well enough to go anywhere yet. Before heading out of the door she turned, put a hand on Spikes shoulder, and just looked at him for a moment. Then, surprising them both drew him in to a brief hug and sprinted for the ambulance. The slayer decided that the startled look on the vampire's face was worth the extra showers she'd have to take.  
  
Spike just stood there. His eyes were as wide as saucers. He shook his head, hoping they weren't in some kind of alternate dimension. // Did the slayer just give me a hug?? // the thought was too ridicules to dwell on for long and luckily he was saved from that fate by a voice calling out his name.  
  
"Spike!"  
  
Willow all but ran up to him with Tara close behind.  
  
"you. . . !"  
  
Spike pointed an accusing finger at the red head and narrowed his eyes. He couldn't find the words to finish what he was saying, so he just raised his hand and slapped Willow upside the head. It didn't set of his chip, it was really just a token gesture. He tried to look angry but couldn't keep in up much longer.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Willow chewed on her bottom lip.  
  
"are. . . are you alright?"  
  
Tara asked meekly. A tear was running down her flushed cheek as her doe eyes stared up at the vampire. Spike sighed and rolled his eyes annoyed at himself for being such a softie even as a smile tugged at his lips. He'd grown far too close to these two and felt almost as protective of them as he did of Xander. He didn't want them to worry about him so. Wiping the tear off Taras' face he drew both in to a hug.  
  
"No harm done luv."  
  
Another moment of murmured assurances and comforting words saw the witches seated on the couch and Spike leaning against a random wall wondering if this was real? Did they actually care? Could he let himself feel this good? Something was troubling him still, he was desperate to talk to Xander and was dreading it at the same time. Either way, he wasn't up to it right now, his unfocused gaze lingered on the floor unable to do more than promise himself to think about it tomorrow. He felt like crying. Hadn't he been resigned to his death a moment ago? Now he had to live with it, and he had yet to come to terms with that. Feeling a hand in his shoulder the vampire looked up.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
The watchers voice sounded worried. Spike covered up his momentary show of weakness a little too late, Giles had seen the lost look in his eyes before in was replaced by the customary smirking arrogance. The Watcher thought back to all the times he'd seen that look and wondered if the vampire had ever really meant is as more that a disguise for his true feelings. // Scotch! I need some before I start feeling sorry for the poor, misunderstood evil fiend!! // despite his thoughts Giles couldn't help but acknowledge that he didn't harbor any of the feelings the vampire in front of him should elicit. Which was why he was there, talking to Spike.  
  
"Watcher, if you hug me, I *swear*, !"  
  
Giles just smiled a little, knowing that Spike meant that as much as he did his cocksure stance, and arrogant glare.  
  
"I'm glad you're alright."  
  
Giles could hardly believe what he was saying. He could tell he wasn't alone in that but it seemed Spike was too exhausted to be shocked so he just sighed and nodded his thanks.  
  
"Now, why don't you get something to eat? There's blood in the fridge."  
  
Spike's face lit up at the mention of food.  
  
"Weetabix?"  
  
He asked excitedly making Giles have to remind himself that the vampire wasn't a ten year old child because he sure could fool a lot of people acting as he did. Giles just sighed, and did his version of rolling his eyes and gestured for the vampire to help himself. He watched, unable to suppress a small twinge of fondness as Spike all but ran to the kitchen.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Getting tree baggies of blood out of the fridge,  
  
// Human!//  
  
he drained the first without further preparation. Sometime between entering the kitchen and emptying the contents of the second baggie in to a mug, he realized that he was not alone.  
  
// Eat now, deal with annoying poofty sires later. //  
  
Having sorted out his priorities Spike proceeded to ignore Angel as he set about microwaving his mug of O-neg. ~~~~~~~  
  
//why does he have to be different?//  
  
//why does he have to be different?//  
  
//why isn't there more scotch?//  
  
//if I didn't know better I'd swear they're in love//  
  
//they're in love//  
  
The sun was rising in the morning sky over Sunnydale, bringing a strange new day. Angel sat staring at his childe in the training room behind the Magic Box, wishing he wasn't special.  
  
Spike lay pretending to sleep glad that only Xander had the talent of being able to tell the difference, thoughts of the brown haired boy racing through his mind.  
  
Giles paced his office looking for the hidden flask that wasn't where it was supposed to be.  
  
Buffy sat in the waiting room of the hospital, pondering her intuitions. After all, that look, it had to have meant something. Xander was being examined by the doctors, and they said they would like to keep him over night - Xander protested, and then Buffy was shown to the plastic chair half an hour ago. Knowing that until she knew for sure, the thought // utterly ridiculous though it may be // would nag at her, she decided to talk to Spike later.  
  
Tera touched Willows' hair as the red head slept. She knew.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
AN: This is the second time I've uploaded this chapter. Apologies to anyone who read the previous part, ff.net screwed up my paragraphs for some reason.  
  
Alrighty then. Next part coming soon. No really. 


	11. Chapter XIII

A/N:Wasn't sure weather or not to include this part. It's not essential to the plot so don't read it if you don't like the idea of Giles/Ethan.  
  
PS: yes I know I'm evil taking so long with the updates and all. I'm kicking myself right now. Hard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Chapter XIII - Favor  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The brown leather of the ancient looking chair creaked in protest as Giles sat down with a soft sigh. He took a sip from his brandy-pretending-to-be- tea and proceeded to polish his glasses. Thinking usually came easily to Rupert Giles. All he had to do was find a starting point: a way of approaching the situation and before he knew it all relevant information was sorted and store so conclusions could be drawn.  
  
Not so today.  
  
Or any other day fate decided to throw his past back at him. Repressing was a lot harder that way.  
  
Restless, he stood and paced the length of his office. Mulling over the events of the last three days in his head he tried to get a handle on the price of their success. //Price? Was there something I had to give up?// he didn't think that what he had to offer mattered at all to Ethan. But it did. It mattered. //too much.// placing his glasses on the table next to the fine bone china cup he rubbed his eyes. Tired of thinking, wanting to let go every time he reminded himself why he couldn't. //didn't//. If only he didn't have to face this now. Face //you!//  
  
"You."  
  
Giles was quite unaware of being observed until Ethan chose to show his presence by scaring the living daylights out of him!  
  
Ethan chuckled, a sound emanating from deep within his throat yet somehow managing to be light a airy. The sparkle in his eyes indicated that he was thoroughly entertained by having succeeded in creeping up on the watcher.  
  
"Very good."  
  
The smooth voice cooed mockingly.  
  
"don't forget the 'I' and the 'O'. . ."  
  
He stalked closer, waiting for the meaning behind the childish words to dawn on Rupert. He was taken aback by the confused heartbroken resignation the lingered on the other mans' face.  
  
// I O U. how amusing. Why? What does he want from me?//  
  
"No. We're even."  
  
Giles noticed the hesitation, the calculating glance as Ethan reached for his cup of 'tea'.  
  
A slow smile crept over his features finally.  
  
The smug bastard knew exactly how he made him feel but wasn't going to call him on it. Giles was grateful for that. For a moment it seemed almost as though Ethan was going to want to talk. Show the emotions behind the mask that usually remained well hidden in his eyes. But he wasn't. He would just stand there and smile. Knowing. When had he gotten do close? The cup was back on the table and mere inches separated the two men. Giles could hear Ethans' every breath rush past his lips and realized he had said something. What? He didn't know. He was hearing the sound of the tea cup as it was placed back on the veneered surface of the desk. That happened a couple of seconds ago. Giles realized that in a couple more seconds he would know what was said to him.  
  
"Even."  
  
The word whispered against his ear, allowing him to feel the brush of Ethans' lips against his skin for a moment, was heard only after the soft click of the door, closing.  
  
"Did it ever really change between us?"  
  
True to form. A touch too late.  
  
~~~~~~~ 


	12. ChapterXIV

Chapter XIV - Closer  
  
@---;-----------;----@  
  
Spike had left the Magic Box at soon as the sun set, heading back to his crypt.  
  
Improvising a shower, he got dressed, feeling more like himself. The cold water (from the underground mains pipe that ran close to the crypt) snapped him out of the numb contemplation that he was so bored with. So now, instead of thinking about things he did things. Things like heading over to the Magic Box to see Xander.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Hey Spike."  
  
Buffy anticipated his question before he had time to decide how to phrase it.  
  
"Xander's not here."  
  
One of Spikes eye brows quirked up in question, weather it was 'How did you know I'd ask?' or 'Where is he?' the Slayer didn't know. She chose the answer the former.  
  
"erm, Hospital. They wanted to keep him in over night."  
  
Spike nodded, confused, and turned to open the door. Buffy didn't bother to remind him that visiting hours were over and just smiled trying not to be to disturbed by the situation. Xander and Spike had been best friends for all intents and purposes before. . . so now they would just be. . . . Closer. Buffys' mind refused to delve in to possible details choosing instead to concentrate on not thinking about other things. Like the fact that Angel just disappeared without a goodbye. Again!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
There was a knock at the door just as Xander finished getting changed. He figured it was just one of the nurses .  
  
"Come in."  
  
Turning around he did a double take. Then blinked. // Spike //  
  
"If you're here to drop off flowers, you're a little late. I was just leaving."  
  
Xander had decided to go against the doctors' advice and leave the hospital. There was nothing wrong with him. Well he was sore and his ankle was sprained but he could lie in bed and do nothing anywhere. And he preferred to do it in a place where people didn't force you to wear things that gave an unobscured view of his ass to the world.  
  
"Need a lift?"  
  
Xanders' eyes lit up for a moment with indignation. Then he remembered the long hours he'd spent thinking. Right. //The sooner you get going.// he heard the nudging of an annoying voice in his head.  
  
".I'm sorry."  
  
Hmm. //all right, what did I miss?//  
  
"For what, pet?"  
  
Oh great. Now he was gonna make him say it.  
  
Xander had rearranged the events of that night in to an order that placed all the 'blame' one him. Spike realized this as the boy stumbled through an explanation.  
  
"I didn't mean, um, you know. to get so worked up before. It's just that. well I know that you'd never want anything to do with me, let alone. that.way, under normal circumstances. But that kiss, well.. it may have meant something to me. I know, how pathetic am I? But it just felt good, you know, for a moment, to feel like someone. like *you* wanted me."  
  
By the time he finished, Xander was looking at the floor, visibly trying not to cry. The last part was almost a whisper. Spike blinked. Oh god, did he think he didn't want him?!  
  
//you did tell him as much last night. . .//  
  
Spike took a step towards Xander and placing a hand on the side of the boys face he tilted it up.  
  
"Xander, look at me."  
  
Finally their eyes met. Spike winced at the defeated look he received. Xander was probably just waiting for Spike to play with him some more. He dropped his hand.  
  
"Pet, even if I never get to kiss you again, I'll never forget. It, you mean too much to me for that."  
  
Xanders' world had become perfectly clear for the duration of Spikes confession. Not the 'I know all the secrets of the universe' kind of clear, but for once he understood how he felt. It was heard to ignore the feeling in his chest when Spike said that he meant something to him. Now he was trying to decide weather the vampire // *vampire* , Xander! // was being sincere.  
  
"Spike, please. if you don't really mean that, just tell me. You know, my heart has been ripped out of my chest and handed back to me on a plate a few times too many, I don't know if you want it. . ."  
  
Xander tried to say that with the lighthearted humor that was his trademark, but it was all too transparent not hiding any of the pain or emotion like it was meant to.  
  
"I would never hurt you precious. You have no idea how special you are."  
  
On any other day that may have sounded strange, especially coming from a 144 year old master vampire, but then, this was Spike whispering the words to Xander as he pulled him in to his arms.  
  
// Safe now. Stay // Xander wasn't very clear on weather he had said that out loud.  
  
"Forever, pet.'"  
  
Nothing more was said after that. Spike just looked at Xander for a minute after he stepped out of the embrace, saw the boy blush and smiled at him. Neither of them could think at the moment, but they could feel, and that was enough for now.  
  
Picking up some of Xanders' stuff that Buffy had dropped off for him earlier Spike made his way to the car, getting stopped by the nurse who wanted to inform him that visiting hours were over, when he headed back to the collect Xander. He stayed behind to sign some wavers. He smiled at the nurse instead of following his original impulse to vamp out and make the pathetic human run in terror. He told her he'd just be a minute, and the he saw Xander at the end of the hall. Ignoring further protest she might have made he walked over to him.  
  
"ready to go, pet?"  
  
//pet! I'm still his pet, even though we're back!//  
  
Xander tried to hide the giddy smile on his face. "yeah."  
  
~~~~  
  
Nurse Wilson crossed her arms and watched the two walk down the corridor, the blonde mans arm wrapped around the patient from room 312, supporting him as he struggled to walk on his sprained ankle. //glad I could help.// the thought was so strange she didn't bother to dwell on it, returning to her nightshift duties instead.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Xander and Spike reached their basement home and stumbled down the stairs, immediately falling in to bed. They lay there with their legs hanging over the edge for some time, just getting to grips with the new rules.  
  
"sleep?"  
  
Spiked finally asked decided that his brain would maybe decided to function after some rest and knowing that Xander was exhausted.  
  
Xander turned his head to look at Spike lying next to him and nodded trying to get up, and failing miserably. Falling back on to the bed he laughed at him self as did Spike watching his pathetic efforts.  
  
"'m too tired to go to sleep."  
  
Spike just shook his head, and rolled to his feet stumbling only a little. Xander didn't move. A hand reached out, pale, smooth skin, chipped black lacquer. Spike. Pulling the Slayerette to his feet he stepped back from the bed giving Xander room to stand up. All the blood suddenly rushed to Xanders' head and he fell against Spike. Placing a hand on the vampires' shoulder he regained his footing.  
  
"blame the morphine. . ."  
  
He mumbled taking a step back.  
  
"yeah, they all say that. . ."  
  
Spike said with a smirk, and pulled Xander against him again. He ran him hands over the boys back, down his sides, as if making sure he was really there. It was frenzied in slow motion. Xander stood there a little shell shocked, not sure what he was supposed to do. He wanted to do something. Improvising he paced his hand on Spikes chest stopping any further movement on the part on the vampire, and leaned forward kissing him.  
  
Well. . . it wasn't a kiss. Their lips just met for a moment chastely and then parted again.  
  
That's all.  
  
Spike stood two inches away from Xander just looking at the boy fidget. // wow. // nothing more coherent sprang to mind. He hadn't really expected Xander to do anything, he just wanted to make sure he was there, real.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Xander said finally, biting his lip, trembling a little, scared more than anything, but not enough to tun away. Or maybe he just couldn't.  
  
Spike floated back to reality softly and told Xander he didn't have t thank him for anything. Xander argued the point of course, but Spike was adamant that they couldn't have made it through without one another. // you chicken shit, tell him what you really think, you know you should be thanking him instead of the other way 'round.// he didn't though. It was too frightening to go out on a limb like that, and he didn't have the energy for it right then anyway. So they just went to sleep. Having stripped down to their underwear they climbed in to the double bed. Opposite sides. No one mentioned the fact that Spike usually slept on the couch when he stayed over. They didn't speak at all in fact, but when Spike started to make his way over there after switching the light off, he felt warm fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him back gently.  
  
Half an hour later their desires won over their inhibitions and they were wrapped in each others arms, asleep. A state in which they remained until the morning of the second day.  
  
  
  
TBC: Right, smut in the next part I promise!! One more chapter to go. Thank you for sticking with me. 


	13. Chapter XV

WARNING: This chapter is Rated NC-17! Contains explicit sexual scenes of the slashy kind.  
  
A/N: well, it took a while, but we got there it the end, or we finally *got* to the end, whichever. . . thank you to all those who stuck with me . .  
  
Drc, Kilroy, shadowgal13, charmin, imachau, lisa t, Zerographic, Drake Roberts (drc?) , nokia, Jeremy, Jero, sal, Muse4u, Mia, SweetDee, Amelia, Obsidian, Ephemera, Margaret L. Clayton, StarCat13, Hermione, Holly007, samson, Serefina, Emily, Sweetie, SalAgain, T'Lun, Alicia Marie, Estepheia, Steen, rainyday88, Kiara, Eugenie Chua, juli, crow.  
  
Thank you for reviewing. Special thanx to Mia and drc for your reviews.  
  
@----;----------;-----@  
  
Chapter XV - Call it love.  
  
@----;----------;-----@  
  
Xander lay curled up against Spike, blissfully unaware of their friends attempts to wake them until the phone rang for the tenth time that morning. Spike felt Xander stir finally. He'd been awake for a while but was far too comfortable to move, especially for something as trivial as the phone.  
  
"Just ignore it, they're bound to give up eventually."  
  
He wrapped his arm tighter around the sleepy boy next to him. He just snuggled closer and turned his face up to Spike childish confusion written over his features.  
  
"'ow lon' 's it been ringin'?" Spike chuckled at the incoherent drawl and lifting the phone off the hook passed the receiver to Xander.  
  
After a brief chat with Willow telling her everything was fine and they would join the gang at the Magic Box after sun set he leaned over and placed the phone back on the nightstand. Xander wanted to snuggle back up to Spike, but the vampire was now braced on his elbows looking as unsure of the situation as Xander felt. So he went to the bathroom instead.  
  
//oh dear god!! // Xander couldn't quite believe the situation so he looked down once again. //yep. Definitely a hard on.// he thought to himself. Standing in front of the mirror he took a couple of deep breaths. Sexual attraction to the vampire had at first terrified the youth but once he thought about it for a second the situation would resolve itself. This time however thinking bout it only made it worse. After a quick shower, it was less noticeable, so Xander left the bathroom, wondering as casually as possible over to the couch and the half naked vampire on it.  
  
"What's up with you?"  
  
//shit.//  
  
Xander blushed harder and sat down. Then, just as suddenly bounced back up.  
  
"Nothing, would you like breakfast, I would, I'll be over there!"  
  
After finishing the garbled sentence he turned and made a run for the kitchen only to find himself yanked back down looking up at an amused grin. Before he could protest Spike leant closer and kissed him. On the cheek. But didn't move away, instead covering his jaw in more feather-light kisses slowly moving towards his lips. Xander whimpered and shifted on Spikes lap to make himself more comfortable.  
  
Something was now very obviously poking his lower back and Xander wriggled about more. Suddenly he froze, realizing what it was he was laying on when he made Spike groan. Looking up startled he found Spikes eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. On impulse Xander leaned up and captured them in a kiss. A real kiss that went from shy, gentle exploration to unrestrained passion lading them on the floor. Finally the reality of the situation caught up with them, Xander half on top of Spike rubbing himself suggestively against the vampires thigh, both slowly sliding off the couch and out of breath.  
  
Looking at each other for a second both burst out laughing.  
  
Xander was nervous. Spike could tell by the way he was fidgeting. Holding out his hand he helped the youth back on to the couch where they sat and looked at each other. well Xander was looking at the floor more than anything.  
  
This was very strange. He didn't ever even think about this sort of thing. Sometimes he would think about Spike and him together but the fantasy would usually skip the initial stages of togetherness going straight to the interesting bits.  
  
Xander focused on trying to breathe normally thus missing the first part of whatever Spike was saying, but the end of the sentence was crystal clear. Spike was holding his hand stroking his thumb over the skin soothingly as he told Xander that he would never want him to do anything he wasn't ready for, and that it didn't mean he'd stop loving him.  
  
"I just bloody said that out loud, didn't I .?"  
  
Xander nodded numbly and Spike smiled and looked down.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
When Spike looked back up he was met with soft lips pressing against his own. Then, Xander backed away and looking in to the vampires eyes whispered  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Spike just looked for a moment. He wanted to remember. Then a sad, knowing smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.  
  
"Pet, you don't have to lie to me. . . "  
  
//What? No. I do. why would you ever think. oh right, I was the only one with the epiphany at the hospital. . . //  
  
A searching gaze finally left Xanders eyes as Spike got up off the couch, or at least tried to before he got sopped but Xander wrapping his fingers around his wrist. He shook his head trying to find the right words to explain.  
  
"I don't know when I started to feel something for you. But somewhere along the line I realized that there was more to you than you let people think. I kept thinking that maybe if. . . if I could just get to know you we could be friends. . . more than friends. But it just seemed like you would never want that. . . so until recently, I convinced my self that um, y you . that I was just imagining things that weren't there. Just because I wanted something to be true didn't mean it was. But maybe if I wanted it enough. . ."  
  
Spike was holding his breath. Any minute now he would wake up. He wanted to believe him so much it hurt, but that would mean risking everything. Again. How can a person be expected to do that!? He knew though. //you love him.// there was no other choice but to trust him as well.  
  
"I love you Spike."  
  
Xander finished. he stood up to trying to hide the vulnerable look in his eyes.  
  
"I trust you, love. But lets take it one day at a time, eh?"  
  
"You believe me right?"  
  
//please don't cry, please don't cry. . .// Xander pleaded convinced that Spike didn't know how he really felt.  
  
"I do, pet. Shhh. Come here, now non of that. . ."  
  
The vampire soothed the boy in his arms.  
  
"It'll just take a while to get used to the thought that you could ever love me pet. Evil undead, remember?"  
  
"I know. And I do."  
  
Came the somewhat muffled response. Could he really understand what he was saying? Spike found himself believing every word. Xander was the most perceptive person Spike knew. If anyone could understand shades of gray.  
  
"What about the Slayer?"  
  
"They'll understand."  
  
A moment's pause.  
  
". . .or we'll have to move."  
  
"How fast can you pack?. . . Ow!"  
  
Xander hit Spike on the arm playfully. Spike seemed to think that his feelings would somehow depend on the approval of his friends.  
  
"They'll want me to be happy. So they'll have to deal."  
  
"Or they'll think you've gone off your rocker!"  
  
"Well, everyone is allowed their idiosyncrasies. . ."  
  
"Oh, thanks a lot. So what should *I* call it, . . . midlife crisis?"  
  
Spikes' statement was followed by a pillow hitting his face.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"What now?"  
  
Having sorted out more or less everything about the ground rules of their relationship, the two rested comfortably curled up against each other on the bed, until Xander spoke.  
  
"Anything you want, luv."  
  
Xander got up, walked around the room once, then ran his fingers through his hair finally stopping to look at the vampire watching him curiously from the bed. He smiled. //well, I guess we'll have to talk about it sometime// they both thought with a slightly different accent.  
  
"Spike. . ."  
  
Xander said, as if trying on the word for size.  
  
"I know this is strange pet, cum 'ere. . ."  
  
Spike reached out a had and Xander got a mischievous grin on his face taking a step back.  
  
"hmm. I don't know if I trust your intentions. . ."  
  
He said grinning more.  
  
In a blur of motion Spike was out of bed and by Xanders side.  
  
"Really?"  
  
With that he unceremoniously lifted Xander off his feet and dropped him on the bed pouncing on him and growling the word 'mine' playfully, proceed to kiss his neck. Xanders heart rate jumped as did certain other parts of his anatomy. A thought occurred to him but took a moment to process due to the sensations coursing through his synapses.  
  
"Yours."  
  
He whispered in return and smiled bearing his neck submissively, watching Spikes' reaction. In one liquid movement the vampire moved over Xander, his eyes flashing gold for a moment then soft lips pressed themselves against his mouth before he had a chance to miss them.  
  
When Spike finished ravaging his mouth Xander was trembling and out of breath.  
  
"I mean it. . ."  
  
Slower now, unsure of himself, he reached up and traced a finger down Spikes' face.  
  
"Don't tease precious. You know how much I want you."  
  
Since Spike was pressed up very intimately against his thigh Xander knew exactly what effect he was heaving on the vampire.  
  
"Then take me."  
  
Spike just looked at Xander for a moment. the look of lust on both their faces was unmistakable. blinking, the slayerette realized that there was no backing out on what he had said, and while he was sure he wanted Spike, he had no clue what to do about it. he wanted Spike in control. //please. just tell me what to do. I want you.//  
  
The look on Spikes face changed, softly he caressed the boys face until Xander realized that he'd spoken his thoughts out loud. he looked down, feeling like a complete idiot.  
  
"Pet, you don't really want to do this, it's too soon." //bloody 'ell, if I sound any more like a bird I'd have to rethink m dress sense.//  
  
Spike patiently waited for Xander to get over his embarrassment, stroking his silky hair rhythmically.  
  
"yes.. i.. I do want this."  
  
Spike was a little taken aback. surely what Xander had said before were words of passion not inspired by intellect, and now that he'd had a chance to think about it . . . he still wants to. . . Spikes' imagination provided detailed mental pictures at the end of that thought.  
  
He gave the boy one last questioning look and after a minute nod leant down and kissed his neck, deftly undoing the top button f his shirt. he was expecting to be stopped at any moment, having gotten all the buttons undone he moved to kiss the delicious looking skin of Xanders' chest.  
  
A gasp.  
  
//oh god, whatamIdoing?? it feels so good..//  
  
Spike had just taken one of Xanders nipples in to his mouth making the boy beneath him writhe and make little sounds of pleasure he was hardly aware of doing but that were having an effect on Spike.  
  
Xander vaguely felt his shirt, then his trousers being tugged off, and then Spike lying next to him in a similarly naked state, stroking hair back, and telling him it was alright. Xander noticed that he was shaking, and taking a deep breath tried to calm down.  
  
"Pet, it's ok, relax, we don't have to go further than this. it's alright."  
  
//closer. I want you//  
  
Everywhere their skin was touching Xander felt like he was on fire, he wanted to wrap himself around Spike and never let go. He was vaguely aware that the vampire wasn't as effected by the situation as he was, and that made him unsure of himself. Is this what he was supposed to do? Was he being too needy? //Argh! I can' think straight! . . .pun definitely intended.//  
  
"Sorry." "No, no pet it's alright, I told you, I don't want to do anything you're not ready for."  
  
Spike spoke with conviction leaning over Xander.  
  
"No, I don't want to stop.."  
  
Confused now, Spike kissed Xander briefly just to show his it was still ok.  
  
"What are you sorry for, luv?"  
  
Xander looked down, //no. not crying again.// his emotional state puzzled him but he couldn't stop his voice from trembling a bit.  
  
"for, not being what you want."  
  
Spike snorted in disbelief. //he's not serious. he bloody well better not be.// without saying a word, Spike pounced. He ravaged Xander, kissing ever available inch of skin, tongue, teeth, hands.. just like he'd wanted to do for so long but couldn't, didn't think he'd ever be allowed to. Xander was breathing hard as a pair of crystalline eyes met his.  
  
"Not being what I want?"  
  
Xander blushed.  
  
"Does that feel like I don't want you? Xander, I'm not holding back because I don't want you.. want to shag your brains out right now.."  
  
He paused, savoring the thought. Then leant down to whisper in Xanders ear  
  
". . .to make you scream my name...when I make you come. I want you more than I ever wanted anyone, I'd do anything for you.. I love you. that's why I don't want to rush. To make sure you're ready. I want you."  
  
Spike ground his erection against Xanders thigh for emphasis.  
  
"I want you."  
  
Xander was speechless. Here he was in bed naked with Spike, having once again acted like a complete idiot, needing reassurance. //This is it. this is what you want, just show him you're ready.//  
  
Having resolved this in his mind Xander squeezed his eyes shut, taking a moment to gather his strength, then, surprising both himself and Spike, flipped them over so he was on top. Ignoring the questioning gaze directed at him he proceeded to ravage Spike the way he was before, imitating Spikes actions, altering them when he found something the vampire liked (it was easy to tell, Spike would groan or start breathing). His frantic exploration led him further south Spikes sculptured body, and not stopping to pause and consider the awkwardness of being naked with another man, let alone doing *this* he let his tongue sweep over the head of Spikes cock. The vampire hissed. His hips lifted off the bed, then he moaned an approximation of Xanders name and slammed back down on to the bed.  
  
//He does want me//  
  
Xander wrapped his lips around Spikes erection.  
  
//Oh fuck, he's gonna make me cum!!//  
  
He sucked harder taking more in to his mouth.  
  
//Am I doing this right?//  
  
His question was answered when Spike called out his name again begging him to stop.  
  
His pleasured moans and writhing told Xander what he really wanted so he took as much of Spike as he could in to his mouth without gagging and moved his head up and down, faster.  
  
//Yeah, pet please!//  
  
Spike tried to restrain the motion of his hips, Xander was letting him fuck his mouth, thrusting down his throat was impossible to resist even for the most disciplined, making Spike use all his will power to control himself. //don't you dare hurt him// What should have been a clumsy effort was turning out to be the most incredible thing the vampire had ever experienced. He allowed his mind to scroll over the facts, Xander, shy, perfect, sucking him off, his hot mouth moving in time with his hips, not stopping..  
  
"Xander!"  
  
Spike opened his eyes and looked down, that pushed him over the edge as he knew it would. His fantasies didn't compare to this! cuming hard in Xanders' mouth, his body trembling, coming down..  
  
Once Spike regained enough faculties to look down he was instantly hard again. Xander lay between his legs braced on his elbows, looking a little surprised, a little unsure. His lips were covered in Spikes cum, a bit running down his chin, as he stared up, blinking. Xander didn't get a chance to consider what had just happened when he was moved back up the bed, flipped over and kissed thoroughly. Once Spike backed off slightly, Xander smiled up at him.  
  
"Good?"  
  
"Let me show you?"  
  
Spike proceed to lick his face clean then stopped and looked back up.  
  
"thank you precious, that was... bloody fantastic! where'd they teach you to do *that*?"  
  
"..I"  
  
Spike laughed and kissed Xander again stopping any explanation that might of come. He was well aware that that had been the first time for Xander going down on another man.  
  
"turnabout's fair play, pet."  
  
Xander wasn't sure if he wanted Spike to go down on him until he felt the moist pressure of the vampires mouth encasing his cock. he couldn't help but thrust his hips up in to the confines of Spikes mouth, clutching the bed sheets and crying out as the sensation almost made him cum.  
  
"ugh.. hurt?.."  
  
Spike stopped momentarily stroking Xander with his hand.  
  
"no pet, your not hurting me, do anything you want."  
  
Xander moaned louder needing to feel Spike on him again, a wish the vampire complied with. Spike knew it wouldn't take long but he did everything he could to make it last. finally Xander started to thrust wildly down his throat screaming out his name over and over.  
  
//that's it pet, cum for me//  
  
With a final gasp Xander came down Spikes throat. his body was shaking uncontrollably in the aftermath of the best orgasm of his life. he finally recovered enough to whisper a 'wow' before his eyes closed as he fell in to an exhausted slumber.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Xander woke up sometime later, wrapped in Spikes arms protectively, a blanket over them both. He had been aware to some degree of Spikes presence through out his nap. It was an advantage he had over the vampire. He could tell when Spike was asleep. He lay there listening as Spike talked quietly to him.  
  
Told him how much he loved him.  
  
How amazing he was even if he didn't believe it.  
  
//'I'll believe it enough for the both of us pet.'//  
  
How perceptive he was.  
  
//'feelings.. lies, pain, fear, your gift is seeing people. How come you can see me but not your self?'//  
  
Xander just lay there quietly, processing it all, which he didn't get to do in his half asleep state. He remembered his initial reaction to his feelings for Spike. He remembered trying to hate him as much as he could. He remembered showing it too //'this can't be haven, you're here!..'// Was that his initial reaction to finding himself at he beginning of their adventure?  
  
He turned carefully so as not to wake Spike, not quite succeeding though.  
  
"This is heaven, you're here."  
  
He whispered softly. Spike was awake.  
  
Xanders words echoed his feelings perfectly. Waking up like this was usually followed by waking up *for real* and facing the fact that it was all a dream. //Haven. I don't deserve to be in heaven. How can he love me? I shouldn't be allowed to touch him.//  
  
Xander could tell Spikes mood had shifted.  
  
"what is it?"  
  
Spike smiled sadly at Xander. the boy recognized that expression. his heart broke.  
  
"Nothing luv. just waiting for the dream to end." //or you to come to yer senses..//  
  
A soft hand cupped his cheek, reassuring.  
  
"This is real."  
  
A kiss.  
  
"Why?" //Why do you love me?//  
  
"I could ask you the same. it won't change anything. we'll just have to believe it enough for each other. Will. . ."  
  
Spike stared up in to Xanders eyes and saw something he couldn't have imagined. love.  
  
"I love you."  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"Did he pass your test, sister?"  
  
The cosmic voice was followed by silence, his twin was deep in thought. the burden of her duties weighing heavily on her mind, no doubt. Or perhaps she was thinking about how her brother had somehow once again managed to miss the obvious. perhaps he was just being paranoid. perhaps she was just thinking about that muffin she had for breakfast. sighing he decided not to pry, instead assuming she would find his pessimism annoying enough to answer the question.  
  
"So he failed."  
  
"No dear brother, he passed. He chose to live with his burden for what he has become, instead of ease his conscience by undoing his passed sins."  
  
//Bingo.//  
  
"Was he not meant to seek redemption by undoing that evil?"  
  
"This one does not seek redemption. He acts out of love. Now that he is on our side he fights for the good by proxy. One day he will have to make a choice. But that is still ahead."  
  
"When the time comes. . . what will he choose?"  
  
"That remains to be seen. I shall not interfere further."  
  
"His heart is light.."  
  
"But the darkness calls to him"  
  
"HE WILL CHOOSE."  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
The usual argument could be heard as the last two scoobies arrived at the Magic Box, to those observant enough to notice, the argument held none of it's usual hostility. Those lucky enough to spot the fleeting touches and knowing smiles could also have avoided a heart attack at the news the two had to tell them. Imagine everyone's surprise when the only person in the room still standing was Buffy, with a knowing smile on her face. Xander was amazed to discover that he'd kept an old friend, and Spike, that he'd made a new one.  
  
~END~  
  
AN:. . .and this is why I should stop writing, especially anything involving smutty slash!! Tell me what you think of it? Even if it was a huge disappointment and a waste of time.  
  
I'll love you for reading it anyway.  
  
Lami xxx  
  
hr 


End file.
